staying at home make me cranky...
being controlled make me cranky...
being watched make me cranky..
unable to do what i want make me cranky..
im cranked up...

the only uncrankiness i'll get is...tmr!!!
wee


shall countdown after i pass my clinical...wee....


sudden urge to talk to him....
i wonder....
sudden feeling tt i miss him...
i wonder....

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

time to play
time to laugh
time to have fun...
time to be serious..
time to study
time to be smart
time to eat
time to sleep...

there's always a time for something...
whether or not u want it..
there's a limit to everything...
know when ur supposed to switch(ur mindset)..

Labels: read within the lines..an entry with a purpose

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

irritating...
im down with flu..and fever soon!!
and i thought my sorethroat was just
due to the black pepper fries and asam pedas at nite on thurs..
my nose is drippin,sneezing...
clumsy cuz im having a flu(sing to it..lol!)..
prolly got it from my lil sis....
its a family weekend again...

my health not gonna affect any part of weekend..hehe
im so waiting fer next week!!!wee..!!
happy mugging those muggers...


weather,weather dun have weather swing cann??hehe

she's happy...as usual...

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

snippets of lyrics from everywhere...


I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..



Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall everytime
Another color turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away



Can you feel it when the lights turn low?
Can you feel it when your heartbeat slows?
And you're falling down again



First time
That I saw your eyes
Boy you looked right through me, mmmhmm
Play it cool
But I knew you knew
That cupid hit me, mmm mmm


You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love

(Can't help it The girl can't help it )



I feel like I'm drownin in da ocean
Somebody come and take me away




You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle




yet to invest..should i..

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

when she's happy..she go crazy...
tmr is her doomsday...
but she's looking forward to get it over and done with....
she'll be freer the day after tmr....
but...here's a catch...
inner sadness doesnt count...
the flame has not died...
and she's finding ways to get it burning up!!

Labels: happy go lucky

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

my fingers are itching to blog...
bt my bladder is fully distended..
if only they had a toilet at this cyber for me to pee...

ouh craps man...(i'll close my sphincter...haha)
finally got all my thinkings sorted out...
finally getting things done up...
finally organising my stuffs properly..(okay at least its abit better!!)
ahak...
if only i had done all these earlier..
but its not too late either...

finally...(humming to fergie's finally)
got my spirits back....
wee..alrite...
i think im too happy at the moment(no sarcasm intended..tho some things just drive me to the wall)
cuz im gaining weight..

my face is chubby now..
damn..
chocolates,chocolates and more chocolates....
i want kinder bueno pls....
(the thought of food causes my brain to be stimulated which in turn causes me to salivate adn eventually stimulating my vagus nerve to produce pepsin and HCL!!)


stress hormones on the rise...
and im starting to binge..
poh getting me munchy donuts for tmr!!
wee...she calls it exam booster...
i need to get rid of those extra kilos ...(tho its still within my range...)
and the spare tyres are forming soon enuff...

and with my grandma at my crib..
it aint helping..
with those extra tidbits...
snacks in between meals...
compulsory set meals..which means compulsory breakfast,lunch and dinner...
but i usually get to skip my breakfast...haha!
i sure gotta get it out...
tho not thru induce vomitting...
else my mama gonna send me to psychiatrist..(not tt i ever induce..i never induce vomitting..)
since she had been threatening to.. when i last lost weight..
and with my lil sis being the spy kid...
she even complains to my mum when i go to the mirror to look at my body...


(extra info...
okay its a routine for me to look at the mirror at my body
which means i look at front profile,side and side profile
and i do it
after shower..
after a heavy meal..
once i get home from school..
whenever im changing...
but tt doesnt mean im having eating disorder..
im appreciating my body and my physical features...)



my my,tmr's theory...
and im ready for it...(like haha..for the first time!!)
bring it on!!
tho still got one or two chap to go...
im goin home to mugg again... (okay im gg to pee...and to get food in my tummy.. lol)
loves!!


shouts:JOSH thx fer the lil comfort..haha..
couldnt believe u were spot on...




she needs the crunches,the push ups,the jog,the diet....
all altered for her....
she binges and now she cringes...
but she's happy now...
and tts all that matter..

Labels: altered image...

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

I WAS
shocked
hurt
and cried before i slept...


it has all along been speculations...
it was something i never thought was the truth...
in fact..i have subconsciously forgotten all about it...
and when i heard all about it again...
like a repeated telecast of news..
IT WAS....
like titanic tt hit the iceberg and sank...
my heart stopped and sanked...
like the anchor that sank deep down...
deeper than the sea...
it hurts...


I JUST
cried.....

If not i wud have him....
in my life....
it was all fated...
not to be...
a truth revealed...
a mystery yet unknown
it hurts...

slapped with the reality of truth..
it hurts..
upside down and under.,..
it topples



a mystery in my life...
more to it to unveil...
and ive to move on...

Labels: down

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

holla im back...but im hooked on youtube at the moment.....
and im typing while watching youtube..haha
(trying to multitask...hek..)


okay
many things have happen...
MANY....
i need a a breather..
i need an escape...
this weeks gonna be a rush for me...
i need proper time management..
hoping my health won't breakdown this week...it gotta go on....


okay schedule's pack...
revision undergoing...
theory on the week 6...
followed by my skills...
i shud be sure not to screw up my study table
not that i have one..
(cuz im not the type who sticks to strict timetable or what sorts..)
i never do...
And so that will make my time management a lil screw up...
but i hope things go well...
with that said...
i will still prioritise my group project,...


will be having a dance workshop this tues..
genre:modern...
not too sure what it is....
never tried it...
preparing my choreo soon enuff...
hope i'll get it up...
since i screwed my previous one...


besides my BLOODY PACKED WEEK AHEAD..
i still have crazy ideas...
HAHAHA!!
i never stop going crazy...
well i keep it hush hush till i got it sort out.....
but molly noes bout it...
well i give u curious ppl a hint...

it has "snap snap"
"flash flash"
"strike strike"

make a smart guess...




alritey..my lil thot...

a breather,an escape...
a standstill..
nothing will be missed...
don't arrange it..
let it be and flow like how a lava flows out of a shield volcano..

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

alritey...school's getting pretty interesting...
my engine is generating more as ICAs come to a start..(like after 4weeks of fun)
my!IM getting PSYCHED up for ICAs..!especially having personality disorder for a topic!
expect to come up with crazy crazy ideas...make it more interesting for everyone...
well when u graduate ur gonna look back at ur school life ryt....
so ya..why not everyone put in the effort to make learning a fun thing here..!
and i mean EVERYONE..
EVERY INDIVIDUAL FOURTEENS(or those that join us...hehe)

alritey..that's it for academic wise....
err...okay...

mum has BOOKED ME!!to go out this WEDNESDAY!!(dammit!!Of all DAYS!!!)
and saturday and sunday!!
okay..fine mum loves me to bother going out with me,,,
but my weekends are burnt for her??(this i dun mind..)...BUT my precious wednesday!!
tell me im dreaming!!
*slap me*

alritey...i'll end it with a lil thot
here goes a lil thot of mine...

to be what ur not...
to see what ur not...
to say what ur not...
ur deceiving urself...
i dun mind cuz it's ur life...
it's time i make a decision to put a stop...
for all these F***shit
ur giving me..
its not my game...
and i dun wish to play it..
and thx for letting me see who u really are...

i felt cheated at first....
but then....
i guess its okay...
cuz it just show who u really are...
really...
play the game urself...!
*im sick of it all*
*disgusted*





i missed my bestie alot alot!!
two days and he's out....argh!!!
state of delusion i suppose...

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

...tell me what i feel..
tell me what exactly i feel...
tell me im not gonna hurt him...
tell me that its the right thing...
tell me it wunt go wrong..
tell me i will handle this and be strong...
tell me...
tell me tell me....
tell me a story....
tell me...


i don't want to lose it...
my heart wants it...
my mind wants me to hold on to it...
should i or should i not??



show me the directions...
give me an option...
don't be afraid of rejection...
show me ur confessions...




5 days more to go...
to uncertainty....
5 days more to think...
but what i want is just to meet him..

break it down to simplicity...
i just want u and me...
but the fear is getting over me...
tell me...
tell me....
how do i say it nicely....






an adventure awaits me...
and u want to be the one to go with me??

its an imaginary relationship that both indulge in...
its a fantasy...

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Name.
school.
bdae
blah blah blah