the innocence of a little boy...


"I happy.Mummy came today to visit me in the hospital.I love mummy.She carry me.i hug her tight tight.i miss mummy alot.Mummy ask me if i am a good boy.I am a good boy.Mummy ask me to stay in the bed if i am good.but she gave me to this jie jie.She left me alone.Why mummy go away?i want my mummy.I cry when mummy not there.i vomit.Mummy never come back.Jie jie say got spider man.I still thinking of mummy.why mummy never come back??i sit in my bed think of mummy.Is it mummy don't like me?i want to hug my mummy...."


i wished the mum did not even visit him..tho i noe he wud want to meet his mum...
but y leave him at the moment when he needs her...
my heart breaks....
the brother seems rather immune not having the parents there...
brother made new friends..
he dun seem to like his family...
i held back my tears...as much as i want to hug him...





a surgical problem of another lil one...


"nurse wants to be a tube in my nose again.I am very scared.i cry.
mummy cannot help me.Jie jie come and talk to me.BUt i scared.
Mummy cannot follow me in the room.they tie me with blanket.they put the tube into my nose.it was hot.i don't like to put the tube.they put alot of times.....i scream for mummy but she never come........now i have the tube in my nose.jiejie say don't need to put in somemore if i dont take out...i scared...."


the pain felt in me...when they inserted a tube through the nose of a little one...
all for his own good....
it hurts me to see him feel hurt...

Labels: a child's life in my eyes

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

Labels: i really miss you...

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

it was a heartwrenching moment..
a sad situation...
my heart felt so heavy...
i feel like crying....
my heart is breaking...
i held back my tears as part of the professionalism...
ive seen things that many don't....
i feel like crying....
i feel like hugging that little boy...
can i??
treat him as my own...
i feel so attached...



i feel very down.....
tell me how to relief my heartbreaks??
i need a hug...really....
giving loads of love to those that need it more than me...

Labels: the anchor sank in my heart

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

updates!!
went out with izzy and company to NUS dance concert....
it was an eye opener....
kinda cool lar the hiphop part...
hehe



went to aunt house on saturday where i was being irritated....
super irritated.....


went out with my sec skul clique...
fatt,lea and her boyfy,farhana and boyfy,ezan and boyfy,ahmad cicak,
mala and widya...
miss them a millions tho hard to communicate...
did not camwhore....=(
it was fun lar....
getting noe their lives...
and basically....everyone is lost in touch of the world....

it seems as though we've not known each other....




attachie today was super blur like c.o.c.k...
urgh!!!
please tell me that teletubbies is outdated...thank you!!



i shall update more later...aites....


it was heartwrenching to know the unknown....abandoned and abused....

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

i cant wait for tmr's concert at NUS!!
with izzy and company...wee..


bestie was in contact with me..loves him!
and....we chatted like we never chatted before..
loves him!


meeting my clique on sunday!!
hoorayness!!
miss them like crazy!!


well all this is if my mum allows me to...





im happy..at the moment...
cuz my hormones are raging like it shouldnt...
im craving for kinder bueno!!!!!argh!!
*bestie u heard dat??* hehe

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

my baby...dat reminds me of another baby..

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

i lost my energy...
...in a state of excitement...
but i lost my laughters..
....and smiles from within...


i lost my way along the path of my adventure...
i lost it...will u help me find it...??


i need my 48hours sleep can i??
im so waiting for sunday to meet my sec skul cliques!!
(who supposedly tot i was attached..lol!)
err ya im having attachment...
seeing the joy of the baby...
and the controversy of lives...








i miss your company....

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

I close the door

Like so many times, so many times before

Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor

When I let you walk away tonight

Without a word



I try to sleep, yeah

But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me

A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh

If you were here right now, I swear,

I'd tell you this



CHORUS:

Baby I don't want to waste another day

Keeping it inside it's killing me

Cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you

I'm wishing I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable



I climb the walls



I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.

I've memorized the number

So why can't I make the call?

Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me

In the possibility



CHORUS:

Baby I don't want to waste another day

Keeping it inside it's killing me

Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you

I'm wishing I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable



Don't you know it baby

I don't want to waste another day



I'm wishing I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable




i like this song....

Labels: inconsolable by BSB

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

its a different story...


i wanna take out my previous entry...
but since mimi havent read might as well let her read first...

hahks...
okay..my new set of feeliings...
i knew i didnt fall when...


i cried cuz i cared...
i cared cuz i feel attached..
i feel attached cuz he made an impact..
he made an impact cuz i dunno why...
i dunno why and i dun wanna noe...
i dun wanna noe cuz i like it the way it is...
i like the way it is cuz i dun feel the stress...
err gett it?



i realise that i didnt fall la..
it may just be a trip...
after the call..i felt better ...
at least it didnt make me miss him like that crazy..
thx ya!i can carry on my normal life..
i hate goodbyes...and soon my two other frens leaving to protect the nation oso...
grr...



anyway...im happy!!
bestie msged me after like sooo long!!!
well mimi noes how i feel bout this...
haha...
i miss bestie loads loads loads...



okay chao!





And..
he came to my life again...

Labels: a story at a different angle

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

why did i cry went u left?
why did i tell you i cried..
i missed u...
and i told u...

now that ur not here..
im thinking of u...
and feeling of fear...
will u leave me when u noe that im here..

i think i fell for you...
but it might not be true...
i like ur company..
and the jokes u said in a melancholy...


im going crazy...
cuz u r getting busy...
busy by running thru my mind..
wud u show me another sign...


now that ur not here...
i gazed at my phone..
waiting for ur messages...
to share laughters and jokes


i like what we are today...
i dun wan anything to change...
i just want it the way u might wan it to be...
i will miss you till the very end...



(ehs ppl dun think too much ehs...hehe)

something stupid happen at 0255hrs on 13th Sept...

Labels: random i supposed

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

here i am updating pics of the outing with him...
let the pics do the talking eyy...

(the paparazzi wanna noe..haha)






okay cool...at the speed of light we went to ecp..
(actually this picture taken cuz i dunno how to use his mp4 camera..haha





the underpass..to and fro east coast park..
looks pretty scary lar...
cuz he's "girlfriend" there ma..






our way back home...footsteps apart...







us again..okay the serious part lar...cuz i kept laughing ma using his mp4 camera...




okay this is most kental(geek) look...
hehe..in the bus...



and my favourite picture of all



the C.O.C.K and the Q.U.A.C.K. ...



basically had fun...
stupid jokes with him...hehs!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Did i fall for him??

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

alrite back to blogging again...
ystd outing with the 76 cheeky monkeys was fun!!
though i had sorethroat after dat...

we went to vivo..
ate dinner at F&O..
saw the SML guy!!!
dat dancer!!so cute lar..
hehe and had drink at PCC..stupid acronym which i cudnt figure out
but finally found out...
okay i bet the girls wud update abt the outing more than i do...
haha...
and oh btw...mimi had a flying potato!!hehe
and i didnt know what was BJ lar!!walao...
too advanced sia...
and all dirrty jokes was pointed to me...
all cuz i was wearing dat daymn B necklace!!grr...
it was a mistake neva to be repeated...

B for banana
B for BJ
B for balls!!darn!!

but at least i knew dat oral(thermometer) had its value...
haha...and i know im remembered in the ward cuz the yr 1s doesnt
noe hw to use oral thermometer!!ahaks!



thx for sending me home...*winkz*
i was caught dumbfounded!!
*expect the unexpected ehs*








anyways...im not here to blog about that lar...
im here to blog abt wat happen to my girlfy...
not naming her and him here...



i bet girlfy wanna noe how i felt ryt...
im seldom online..so here goes...


im pissed with him for treating you like dat..
it doesnt matter if he like others..
but y lead u on??
u have cried for him...
for reasons not deemed as intelligent..
for that is what's called love...

y did he let u fall for him deeper??
why did he waste ur time??
he was known as the "boy with a crushed esteem"
den why is he doing dat to you??

im not pissed cuz he had others...
im pissed cuz he gave u hopes...
he gave us hopes too...
why was he too cowardly to speak up his mind??
is he a man??
why is he afraid to tell u the truth??


i feel partially guilty for what things have become...
for i started the stupid joke...
made u have the hope...
and now...
well...i noe how u feel though u might say u dun feel anything...
i hope u will move on...
ehk no...i hope u will do wat u think is right for u....
ur smart girl ma...
we will still be here for u aites??

got sumore to say abt this lar...but i hafta go...!
sighs!!stay happy sweetie!




I MISS RAB DARL!!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

ehkz!!happy bdae to my beloved grandma oi!!!
loves!!
celebrated my grandma bdae ystd...tho today is her bdae!!
ahakz...and ended up with a crushing pain at my stomach due to the food ive eaten..
ahaks...


anyway...may nenek lives longer...
till i get married and have children...
okay nenek??
love her to pieces cuz she took care of me since young...
im a pampered grand daughter...
hehe...


and as usual i tease her yet again...
lol...last week i called her sexy nenek...
and i keep saying that she is sexy last time...
haha my grandma was blushing...cute lar she,,,
and she got her tooth plucked last week...

yesterday,i asked her if she danced when she was young...
haha...
and i was like...nenek last time dance cha cha right??
or agogo??hehe...
i luv teasing her lar....and i owaes pinch her cheeks...
hehe..
my grandma has been an icon fer my bestie and rizal..lol!!
they luv my grandma...haha...



love grandma!!!muackz!


niwaes ive done my housework!!wee!!
and cook!!duh!!
so now...waiting for a few hours to meet PPG-may...
im no longer KIV...
cuz ive recovered!hehs!!cya soon for mega BT...if dat is possible....




going bananas!!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

all about feelings.....
those feeling feeling shud read dis eyy!!



Sometimes the toughest thing about feelings is sharing them with others.
Sharing your feelings helps you when your feelings are good and when they aren't so good. It helps you to get closer to people you care about and who care about you. When people talk about feelings, they sometimes use the word "emotions."




You can't tell your friends what's inside your backpack if you don't know what's in there yourself. Feelings are the same way. Before you can share them with anyone, you have to figure out what feelings you have.




The way a person feels inside is IMPORTANT. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you're feeling sad, worried, or upset. Then, it's just you and these bad feelings. If you keep feelings locked inside, it can even make you feel sick!



But if you talk with someone who cares for you, you will almost always start to feel better. Now you're not all alone with your problems or worries. It doesn't mean your problems and worries disappear magically, but at least someone else knows what's bothering you and can help you find solutions.


if u need a lsitening ear im here...hehe...
i'll be ur guardian angel...
loves!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

geez dis days ivve been thinking too much...
thinking abt the events happening around me...
sometimes i wish my brain will stop thinking larr...
will they....??

im sick at the moment...
sneezing and having sore throat...
its horrible sneezing for no reason...
but im recovering now.....relying on my immune system...hehe


geez since i was past emo...now im on high mood!!again!!
haha tell u some stupid things that made me high back....

being emo was S****..cuz im always a happy person outside...
i had time to be alone where i didnt get in touch with the girlfys..
and molly thot i was ahem ahem....which i wasnt larr!!

heys okay to clear myself out of my S.T.U.P.I.D feelings and emo-ing...
i tot of my past...my incredibe childish candids..
check it out...

when i was in my sec 4 days..
i made a guy cried by laughing at him...(i wasnt evil okay...)
okay..it wasnt on purpose lor...
it was during maths lesson...
and i didnt laugh at him...
i laugh cuz he was the 3rd person to ask the same question...
and i wasnt the only one laughing lor...
imagine my uber patient teacher explaining 3 times for one maths sum
which i dun see any logic??(i dun like maths..hehes)
funny isnt it..
and he shouted "not funny okay!" and he started to cry
so i found out that my laughter is my weapon...it either make ppl laugh or cry...
but so far he's the only one who cried cuz i laughed..haha
after that day i known him as the PMS guy..hehe

haha candid no.2...
my childish antics...
i used to play pinching with my juniors when i was in sec 3 or 4 i think...
the juniors are guys...
so we wud like go around and pinch and pinch till we got blue blacks...
haha..and den got one time i played wrestling with my junior which was also a guy...
in school..during councillor's camp..haha and i was the head councillor...
lol!!
okay shh..it was the past..haha

candid no.3
my yet another childish antic...
this happen in primary school days...
i used to play pulling hair with my buddies..girls lar...
haha...
and scrunch the guys hair whenever they tease me..lol!!
so fun...

But all these was the past...now when i see my juniors...
like very paiseh...
cuz think of the past that we did all these childish stuffs!!haha

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

ive changed my skin...which i think is nicer...
lol!!
anyway..i wunt be updating much today since i spent alot of time
changing the skin...
but still irritating larr...got error on page...
i s***ed at this kinda tings lar...
sorry for the inconvenience aites...
y'all have to keep refreshing the page..hehe...
loves!!


i'll update more soon to come...
anyways,all the best to nick,amin and those going fer the
jitterbugs audition...aites!!



im missing Rab darl ALOT!!!
im missing fatt and lea...
im missing those who miss me...
im missing friends company!!



rab is emo-ing....daymn!!!
haha..thx to lil sis recommendation of a jiwang(sentimental song)






make me smile when you still can...
for i dunno when the smile will last...
no more fire,no more water
for the days u left me for..
is soon depleting....
(hey molly!!decode dis ehs!!i love knowing ur opinions!!hehe)
i can teach u decoding power....lolx!!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

interesting..i checked dis out cuz i got to noe from may n poh dat sleeping positions got personality...so i went check it out....
see wat i found....



the sleeping position







the personality:
mine is the foetus....hehe



The Foetus: Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax.
This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position.


Log (15%): Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible.






The yearner (13%): People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds, but once they have taken a decision, they are unlikely ever to change it.






Soldier (8%): Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don't like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards.





Freefall (7%): Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations.




Starfish (5%): Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don't like to be the centre of attention.




wats ur personality???

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

i have a problem...
geez...why when i wan blog...there's no font to change to...sianz....
okay anyway...
had chalet....not updating on it now...




sadded cant meet up the girls today cuz mum working nyt..
sianz...
had my beauty sleep....
my dark rings are gone...
wee...
pretty pretty liaoz...
haha...
okay..


sorted out my feelings liaoz...
so no probs on that...
thx to d girls....
hehe...
waiting for the real prince to come lar...
now no prince...
still dreaming...lolx!!

girls...if y'all planning go out wit johnny bravo take note....
dun do on tues and thurs cuz i got dance lar...hehe....
loves...update me aites???

may u cheer up aites....
shite!!im missing the gorls a millions....
tho we had 24hr BT at chalet.....
tsk tsk!!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Name.
school.
bdae
blah blah blah