ppl!!all my friends...
u all are INVITED to my house on dis coming saturday


27th Oct 2oo7 SATURDAY..
at my house...
anytime after 2pm..
for raya celebrations...


my mum will be cooking hari raya food like rendang(may heard it??)
and some other stuffs..
those who long fer raya food pls do come..hehe
any enquiries pls call me on friday onwards and call me when ur on the way!!
thx!!
and those that need directions pls call me too..thx!!and wear ur hari raya clothes!!
(non-malays wear anything ur comfy in yea..)
preferably no black clothes...cuz i got a cat and the fur might get stuck on ur clothes..hehe..
hope to see u guys soon!!loves

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

lab lesson was fun!!

i had nasogastric tube inserted(until the first part of the esophagus that is)

like my dream came true..to have NGT inserted though it did not reach the stomach..

special thanks to poh for inserting(i trust u la girl...cuz u got the confidence!)

..and lecturer...for allowing..



aites..

i wanted try it...

cuz i wanted feel how that lil kid felt...



aites my experience...

the fourteens faces were funny lar...they were like so worried..

lol!!

so i sat at the chair..and everybody was sitting down


poh was trembling..
all so scared like that..
measure oso scared scared...
and i scare her by sating "panas panas...boohoo..."
hehs..the cries of that traumatic lil boi...
so i closed my eyes and smiled...looking at the faces of the class makes me wanna laugh...

when the tube when into my right nostril my right eye teared...
not because it was pain..
but because it was uncomfortable...
and i cant believe it really went in the nasal canal...
at this time..pictures of biology or the anatomy of the nose canal came into my mind...
and den it got through until the back of the throat..where u feel it being poke by the tube..
den flexed my chin...
as it got down where the back of my mouth was..i started to gag..
and as reported by some classmates..they gagged too...
hehe..feeling feeling...

and den enter some more..but it starts to coil up my mouth...and the tube went out...
reinserted again..
it went down to the start of my esophagus..
but its really uncomfortable and make me wann vomit...stay it there fer a while until i cant take it and pull the tube out!!
so disappointed dat it didnt get into my stomach...
i wonder what's the colour of my gastric content..hehe...
and wonder how it feels like to be aspirated and fed thru the tube...
hmm..if only i had the chance again....

but nevertheless..i wann thank poh fer taking up my challenge to insert the tube for me..

i chose u cuz i have been working with u..

and i trust u to do it on me..

u have the confidence...

hehs!loveS!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

i swear today is the FIRST day im REALLY attending school...
and im sure to say it aint that nice with the fact that

i lazily got up my bed..
(the fact that my bed is more comfy right now)

i slowly took my time...
(cuz i noe i can afford for a cab with cash rolling in dis week)

i had late night sleep dis days cuz of some bloody things...
(dis week aint dat good)

i didnt like schooling in NYP for some reasons...
(though i have great friends here..plus my dance mates)

n like right now in the library with molly...
somebody just broke a glass...haha..




okay apart all those boring stuffs..
getting the hang of everything...
i think my gemini personality is coming out..
haha...
BT-ing all the way..can't have enuff of it lar...
and yea..

came to hear and see some stuffs....

like whatever.....

like i care...

like i bother to...

like i want to think abt it...

just drive me nuts...

ok cool!im not that happy...
yet not emo.,..
(ehk WAIT!!!IM NEVER EMO!!)
*defensive*

what i noe is..im happy fer being me...
im pissed for some reasons...
now im beginning to wonder why god created jealousy...
jealousy seems to be the root of all evil...no??
wanna debate??lol!!
okay im bloody crapping...
but im turn off with ppl getting jealous...
im sick and tired of it...and i dun wan care abt it...
like COMEON' *josh style*...everyone have their own lives...
do something abt their lives...dun bother abt mine...

they don't say it...but that's what i see...
and dat's what i believe...
i believe what i see...
i believe my guts and instincts...

And im bloody turn off-ed...
Period!(yea..having my period...lol!)






i created a wall around my heart...
its not to keep ppl out...
but its to see who cares enough to tear them down..
and he did it...and so do some others..hehe

Labels: jealousy is the root to all evil

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

yay!!finally all the font and colours and stuffs is back in blog..!!
so now can change change colour and font...
which ive been tolerating bloggin fer past few months without it!!
irritating~



hehs!!
school started today!!
and i feel shitty....
cuz keep wanting to shit!!haha
amin's fault lor!!
have breakfast with him like early in the morning!!
in which nicholas sexayye joined us later...



aites so took cab today though i was still early...
cuz damn tired from rayer ystd nite...reached home like 1 am plus...
reach skul at 7.30am!!dats like damn early can..
and slack at mac...literally slack right in front of mac...
that now looks like a hospital setting..according to amin..
was kinda weird to see alot of GUYS in skul...quite a number of freshies..
like WEIRD!!
n spot some cute ones..not forgetting the live audio guy..hehe




msged molly..to wish her happy schooling..
tho i noe she miss me lar...hehe
skipped lessons from 9am-1pm cuz of dance...
tmr having performance and my elbow still hurts...
thx MX fer the bandage and MOLLY for the rebandaging!!
hope tmr be a good performance...wouldnt say great..hehe..
and i didnt buy my white accessories..
irritating~




ask me bout hari raya!!
fun...but having middle child syndrome!!
like irritating!~
and molly got hooked on the word...irritating~...
hehe...

I GOT LOVE BITE FROM RENE!!!!hahaha..!!


im falling unconsciously,liking consciously...
fear....





today im pissed..but not gonna let that affect the rest

of the day...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lastly!!lemme end of by enlightening u with what is middle child syndrome..hehe...

kinda wordy... dun continue if ur bored..hehe..



The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging.



They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling.




Being in the middle a child can feel insecure.
(true ehs)



The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child.
(very true but i dun stay with my elder sis...so....no direction??)



Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.
(if u asked me...its true)




Being a middle child would mean they are loners.
(ehk i still got social life okay!!)


They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest.
(dis sounds like trouble..hehe...not sure if its true...but try me..hehe)



Not liking to take the limelight for anything,

(bloody true!!)



they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career.



They are however very artistic and creative.
(yea...more to art..hehe)



If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure.


They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project.


The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative.


Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good.


Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child.



Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone.



However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.






p/s:enlightened??most of it is true lar...hehe but the ones highlighted in red is a lil scary...hehe..

Labels: middle child syndrome(M.D.S)

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

okay my final attempt to really blog before school starts!



pretty fast holidays are going to be done with..
school reopening..damn!
how im not looking forward to it...
especially the groupings of the class...
(ahaks..i shall unofficially step down as asst leader...)
cant be bothered to..is there a need??
as long as my life not been ruled over can liaoz...


aites...lets look back at the holidays shall we??

this holidays shall say its the most fun ever!!
its a lil different...
this holidays though it will be a history..
but it marks the BEST EVER HOLIDAY IN MY NYP LIFE(as of time i blog lar)

had attachment at 76..
where the most craziest things do happen...
formation of PPG(loves!)


(credits to molly)


where the couple meets and fall in love(ahak u noe who ehs)
where the funny dirty joke come about...(start of "oral" joke)
where the company we had seems like a fate and destined....
we seem like we noe each other a long time ago...
had
treats from
Chicken Lil at BK,
ASD at pastamania
YAp's the BEST at swensen
(did i miss out anybody??)


out to vivo with the 76 cheeky monkeys including Abang...
where things start to happen...
where im supposed to expect the unexpected...
where i saw that cute dancer...
where he send me home...
where i was dumbfounded..


(picture credit to poh)





had OBS attachie
uber fun with the lil babies...



had class chalet!!
a SUCCESSFUL ONE!!(credits to molly and lee fung organising team)
reminds me of molly getting so uber nervous!!
cuz she scared it wudnt be successful....like doinkz!!(the first time when i see molly so uber quiet in the cab..)
the class chalet where we BT 24hours!!hehe...
SOLID!!!
where the PPG and MAY COULDNT FIND THE SUN!!
where we talked and talked like there's no tmr...
where we went crazy crazy!!
where i loved it!!(can sumbody do the pics??hehe)



out with him...
where we got to noe each other...
where i cried...
where i laughed...
where i enjoyed....
where it was just me and him...
where im still unsure wat i feel...hehes
(slap me!!lol!)


had paeds attachie...
where i was heartwrenched
where i got to noe the unknown..
where i was smacked with reality and harsh fact of life...
where i gave my love to those that need it more than i do...
where i find the meaning to life...
where i found back the reason why i joined nursing...
where i had an emotional ride!!


had dance camp!!
where i was fasting
where i was running around
where i felt like fainting
where cud dance reggae
where too much reggae make me hallucinate the songs...
where me sha amin and fir went pastamania to eat...
where i injured my back..
where i my butt hurts
where i enjoyed myself
where i was uber shagged up!!
where i love it!!!



had dance trainings
where i amplified my injury...
till my left side cant move...(but better lar)
where i enjoyed dancing!



had outing with ASD PPG AND MAY!!
where ASD treated us fish &co.
where the bill cost 120bucks!
where i had 7cups of refill of passion soda
where we camwhored like nobody business!!
where we took traditional ol' neoprints!
where we had donuts!
where i saw that army cargo that cost 10 bucks!!!at cotton on!
where i had to endure my pain and still have fun!!
(pics please??hehe...)


had hari raya preparations...

where i clean the house
vacuum the house,cleared the bookshelves,clean my wardrobe,wash the fans,fold the clothes,wash the curtains,make the cookies(that mum was supposed to do!!) and the list go on...
where i got new doors
where im getting my bed!!!!
where i had to do a whole thorough clean up of the house alone
where my lil sis still sleeping..
where i had to carry my big big bed to throw..
where im still waiting for my bed...
where im waiting my elder sis to come tmr!!!
yipee!!!
hooray!!
loves!!
hari raya otw baybeh!!!!



haha okay i gtg home like right now to wait for the man to come deliver my bed ..
and i just recovered back the fonts!!wee!!(doinkz!)
and i have yet to buy my school books!!
and im skipping skul for first two days!!
nice lecturers pleeaseeee!!!!!

at least im not always sad..not emo...
happy and true to my feelings...
i like it this way than before....

happy hari raya ppl!!
and may i noe u waiting for my rendang!!hehehe

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

aites im back from holiday!!
haha kidding yaw!
aites...here's my lil piece that was composed with regards to the heartwrenching attachie i had...
take note that its not really fine tuned...hehs!




A situation...
A destination...
A scene...
That seems surreal

Unknown...
Abandoned and abused..
The lives of the young ones
Vulnerable and innocent
Yet the plight of these little ones unforeseen.

Sharing the same boat
HAving a close bond
Like the water that carress the swan
It's the little ones that im fond of

The pain I see through his eyes
I know how much he have tried
I feel his heart
And i empathise

The longing of love
Of dis innocent boy,
Who was given birth
To this world that he's unsure of
who's badly soon to be left alone..
Pleading for his mother's love

A brother,the first friend I made
That loves us and hugs us
And wants us to be at the side of his bed
Learns so well
To hide his true feelings behind
And just to show his happy face
Succumbing to his fate..

God gave us the power to create lives
To mould them up
Give them happiness
And a fair share of sadness,jealousy
And what other emotions it could be
But why do some gave the innocent a harsh fact of reality??!!

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

tmr last day..
sianz...
gonna miss my "brother"...
i hope he get well soon lar...

paeds attachie is uber fun...
and heartwrenching...
learnt alot about life...
the meaning to it....
life is so contradicting..
i feel a lil knowledgeable...
i feel fortunate..
i feel....
alamak feeling feeling...
i will blog more on my attachie when i come back from camp..
this weekend having a camp...
so yea...ppl dun miss me!!
hehe



in the mean time enjoy this song....if u wan...hahaha

special thx to zul for helping me get the song yaw~~haha


loves!!

8more days to raya!!wee!!



taking the lead makes me wanna quit....
kills my passion....
and my lifelong love...
will my passion just die here
or continue to burn??

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

i think my previous post is so misleading...
lol!!ALOT Of ppl think its about a guy...
its NOT.....
its a about a baby boy...
the baby im attached to
(pls take note that it is LITERALLY baby...as in toddler...3yrs old)

hahas..and im not attached(as in i dun have partner or wat u call boyfriend)
and my status is single....
im making this clear...cuz alot of my frens have been thinking that im heartbroken cuz of a guy....or what u call BGR...

what a funny situation...
haha cuz im single and i cant be bothered getting myself hurt cuz of all this love stuffs...haha...i got better things to do lar....

Labels: clearing my name...defensive for a reason..haks

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

and he left...





my heart hurts.......








i miss him.....








i wanna hug him again....









i hate goodbyes....






my heart is breaking up again....





i hope to meet u being successful in future....





take care....





i miss you....

Labels: harsh fact of life

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Name.
school.
bdae
blah blah blah