my screwed week...
i ended it feeling screwed but at least its over

Tuesday
i feel so shitty..
i screwed my dance assessment...

yar...it s***ed...

hated myself fer it...

wat a freakin low standard i felt i did...

haiz...it was really utter dissapointment...

i noe it screwed..

haiz..it was wrong...

so wrong...

i actually was very scared(god noes why)

and had very lil confident...(as usual..)

i dun wanna blame it on anything..

but i wish i cud blame it on my screwed up life...

but nah what peter say is true..

never use excuses for what u did not and cant achieve...

maybe the part on the low self esteem thingy..is really part of my upbringing..

ehk no...my screwed up life...

i thot abt it...

and i cried at night..

dun wish to talk abt my screwed up life...

dun wanna use it as an excuse...

i just want to do the best despite watever has and had happen to me...

but this stupid confident thing is stopping me from achieving my goals...

i made myself disappointed..i made peter and the seniors disappointed...

my standard..i think it dropped..

i think i was better last year...

haiz..

i dun wish to perform any moment too soon...

i wanna reflect on my progress...and improve before i step on that stage ever again..



Izzy thx so much fer ur comfort...

i ges only u wud understand how i feel...

luv u to pieces...

well i'll end tues with the msg that touched me..

from izzy

"....Hey cmon girl. EVerybody makes mistakes before.
You were freakin nervous but at least youve tried. I have some friends who were
as nervous as youbut they dint continue their routine, they just gave up and left.
Well this is the chance for you to build it up. You know that you have not done well for this,
so that shows you gotta prove evrybody wrong, and that youve moved on, realizing your mistakes
and bring up the level and standard. If you keep dwelling on it, you will never improve, trust me. Look on
the bright side rabiah. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!
And hey i still cant forget the look on your face when you dance ok!!
So make me and YOURSELF proud. =) smile for today ...."




okayy..
so on thurs,i screwed up my presentation..
how dumb i was...i didnt attach my presentation to my email before sending it...
but luckily i cud postpone it to this week..(after being nagged by the lecturer)
ANND...i screwed my BCLS...
my 1-man CPR..so i cudnt do 2 man CPR...
but HolY SHIT..im gonna make it up this week..
i'll redeem myself......
with that i end my entry...
hope you guys had fun reading...lol!!
smiling as usual...

Im okay..serious... =)

Labels: I'm really okay doinkz

Staring blankly ahead;
Just making my way through the crowd

Name.
school.
bdae
blah blah blah