my thoughts

2009-06-22T20:46:00.002+08:00

what makes me go aaah...

seeing kids running about their innocence,carefree life..nonchalant attitude...

seeing old old couples walking together...

going out with old friends reminiscing about the past and enjoying the present...

those musical moments..being on stage...

lastly,just being alone...enjoying my own company

sometimes its best being able to do what you love than having to love what you do..

2009-06-05T18:29:00.002+08:00

So ive graduated!!yeay!!

my victory pose!
it's a proud moment for me..

anyway!!this june so gotta be happening..
its time to arrange again all my stuffs...
and schedule frens who promised to go out with me...woohoo!!

so i got a date with joyce to SCIENCE CTR!!!!woohoo!!
a meet up with the girls for dinner-a complete FOUR of us..
Trips to various MUSEUMS with Elaine adn plus plus!!
long-awaited meet up with bestie..
the big groove with the dancers
open classes dancing!!

KIV
Dinner with you...
Outing with them..

Lols!!its so gonna be happening...

and oh..my bday is coming so soon!!!!!
but this year not gonna have a party..lols!!

all for that!!yea!!
be happy..loves!!

2009-06-02T23:11:00.002+08:00

All i ever need right now is a simple pleasure...
that releases my endorphins..

i need peace...

i need a meet up with old friends..
i need a heart to heart chat...
or even a simple picnic...
go bake muffins or
make cupcakes...and be happy

im losing myself yet again...
i need to indulge....
indulge in little pleasures....

i didnt know you know..you didnt know what i know
i know we both know that both of us didnt know.-i sound stupid..but hopes no one decipher this
Yikes!

you know my blog.

2009-06-01T12:14:00.005+08:00

they say bestfriends are for life...or so i thought..
besties are there whenever you need them...
they need not be there everyday for you...
but they have this instinct whether you're up or down...
send occasional texts to show that you've not forgotten...

they are the ones that you'd talk to on the deepest trouble..
they understand without you having to reason out..
they love you without having to say it out..
they help you up whenever you fall down...

they are the bestest of the bestest that
even in times when you get busier in your lives...
and miss out on catching with each other..
you're automatically forgiven without the need of an argument...

they are the people you want to grow up with
share the every tears and cheers with..
hugs you in time of needs..
And go along with every silly plans you did

they say out of many many friends..
there will be only ONE bestfriend and many many other good friends

Bestie,
i have indeed enjoyed my walk with you...
i've appreciated your every effort in this bestie relationship...
ive enjoyed being there for you physically and emotionally thru times of your need..
being there for you is my greatest gift i could ever give to you..

but in view of your soon to be new life..
i might not have this privilege no more..
and I know both of us are releasing this bestie rship go off slowly...
and hopefully not painfully...
i'll still be your good friend...
and listener for you whenever you need it...

all the best my bestie!!
you're my bestest bestie ever....

in search for a new bestie
to continue the walk of life..

2009-05-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

finally a planned short term future...
my mindset??

why work your ass off when your pay is peanuts,
when u can work less and earn the same salary

well i'll take it that im serving NS for 2years??(i'll get my next year's bonus in dec and CHAO!!)
soon goodbye shift hours,hello office hours (or shud i just say 5 day work week?)
tats if i get accepted to this particular place...im not telling you..
but if 2years or less in hospital gets me going and i love the job then i'll stick with it maybe for the rest of my life..
till i get married and have kids!
but if not...i'll be saying hi to a new life and new work..
that will mean more dancing for me...!!musicals,dance,performance,competitions..!!loves!

aah..now i found more reasons to rejoice for not getting sponsorship!!

but for now *burst my bubble of thoughts*
its time for cases,take blood,prick people,follow doctors order..
and parameters etc etc..work is nice...i promise..but welfare is another issue...
and not being able to pursue interests consistently is another...and staffs issue there is another...

well,
19mths to go!!!wish me luck man!!!

2009-05-02T22:39:00.003+08:00

Its just weird...

im becoming introvert...

whats possibly coming over me...

might just be the changes that goes around me...

i know not who to talk to

not who to see...

what i noe is that its not a stage of puberty..

you can make me happy

she can make me happy

he can make me happy

so does every single one..

but i cant make myself happy...

im alone...alone...alone...

i know not what i like

nor what i don't...

im lost in this huge world...

im just tired..tired tired...

2009-04-26T20:17:00.003+08:00

its kinda sad that those whom u expect to be there for u arent there for you...
its a pity that replacements do happen...
but its a joy when u find the right company..

and i wonder......if everything and anything happens for the right reasons..
i just need to pull through it...

oh...whatever...IV meds exams coming up...
and i've yet to study anything...
sometimes i wonder i rushed to get a job/career
..i wud be h appier slacking at home i guess...but nevertheless im enjoying the pay..
nyea haha haha!!

a mistake makes u fall,but what makes u stronger is the ability to stand up again

and not trip on the same stone!!

2009-04-18T21:24:00.002+08:00

been long since ive been happy ..

only to be troubled at where i belonged..

those that keep me away from my troubles...

is much appreciated by their sincerity..

the actions to spread happiness around..

tears of nightmares got me woken up...

i badly need to refresh my soul ...

get back my spirit...and put trust in the almighty..

2009-04-07T20:38:00.002+08:00

i feel tired and never stop getting tired...
foundation is pretty tough..
k laa not really..but its kinda tiring to do 8-4.30...
cant wait to get off foundation then i'll have a lil life...
now i get paid...i duno what to spend my money on..
wokay!!that is too early to say laa...

haiz.
anw...i cant wait for IV meds exam to be over and my venepuncture and cann. to start...
then im done with foundation...
hmmm..
groaning and moaning we still have to get thru it...
just wanna thx my beloved scandal for being there for me before and after my foundation
azimama sexayye,mons and reks for spending patho lab with me...
those food corners,drink corners that we built under the table...
and being the bestest gang for lunch and breaks!!
our lunches and breakers were more fun than the rest...
woops!!
haha ppl go canteen,we go chinatown,ppl go kopitiam,we go seah im!!!
I LOVE MY BLOODY SCANDAL!!!hahaha!!

ok holla!!im tired laa...

2009-04-02T19:05:00.003+08:00

Have u been hitting my URL but just disappointed cause everytime you do so...
its just not updated...?
okay dun be ..i'll make it up to u...!

brief updates
went to www
went to batam
went to flyers
went to work!
etc etc
huahuahua!!

my heartfelt thoughts!

so the journey started...
im no longer a student in the eyes of LTA
no longer a student in my school...
now i am a young adult...and...nooo its not a gd ting...
thank god ive yet to hit the big twenty!

so ive gotten employed by sgh...tat was very fast....
and admin work sucked big time...
needless to say,now a grown up...i just had to settle everything on my own
the first step towards real independence..
well welcome new world..

im no longer crawling...
im stepping up and seeing the world in a new view...
its all a brand new experience..

so now im on foundation programme.
gotten the ward..
and it was a real shock..
honeymoon period is over...

wearing the nurse's uniform is all a different thing...
more responsibilities...
more things on your own...
its like no strings attached..
unlike in student years...your lecturers are at the back of you...
you are just like in a safety net...
now the safety net is broken..
you have to explore on your own..
every of your actions are answerable by your own self...

I am now a fully-fledge staff nurse..
I am freaking out....
and i am struggling...
i am thrown into the ocean and struggling to float up and swim...(if u get what i mean)

and yes people who haven take their foundation programme...
just a lil advice...
do not think so highly of yourself....
because wearing a student uniform and a
staff nurse uniform is a different thing all together..
take the humble pie...and keep asking if u dun noe...
make frens and be frens with ur staffs cuz eventually they are ur colleagues...

and my adventure continues...

2009-04-01T21:07:00.001+08:00

new skin!
will relink celest later...
updates up soon!!

2009-02-07T17:58:00.002+08:00

when home becomes heaven..finally...
ive only realise tt..
i've piles of clothes to fold..
clear my super duper messy cupboard/wardrobes
get all my pictures from poly mates ..
basically i got many unsettled stuffs..
well im sooo...procastinating to do stuffs at home...

holidays equate too plentiful of sleep tt ive lost...ya rite...
ive been sleeping almost 12 hours per day...

my bad points
its been 1 week home..
hehe!!ive been lazy to get out of the house to meet my friends...
maya had to even come down to my estate for my company...lols!
i was suppose to go nus open house..but didnt eventually go...
ive been an irresponsible bestie...ive not been contacting him for months...
it suddenly felt like i just knew him...tsk
i fell sick...
i ate alot!
i lost my splits and leg extension..which i was once proud off...tsk...
i got alot of miss calls cuz i was sleeping away...haha!!so sorry!
i didnt talk to my cat ady!!but made a point to say hello whenever my cat greets me by the door...
i have been FB-ing most of the time tt i was lazy to update my blog...lols!

my good points...hmm
i help sis bake muffins for her fren's birthday
i cooked for my family...
i went to buy food for family...
i help my sis in art...
im researching on stuffs....
im TRYING to clean up my house...hahaha!!

whatever...i suddenly sound so unintelligent ...lols!!!

2009-01-14T16:19:00.003+08:00

Someone actually came..made me melt
tachycardiac...and hooked!!
dammit!!someone stood beside me..
remind me of those sweet moments we had!!
we were shy...
it was never official but it was still a good moment!!

NEW YEAR

2009-01-14T15:29:00.005+08:00

Happy new year

i know iknow..

iknow its abit too late!!

i know u all miss me ...

so i will update for u all to see okay!!

NEW YEAR 1st JAN!

i brought the girls and yap for a little surprise!

none of them knew what i was up to besides may!!hehe

Celebrating the new year in good luck..

we had POTLUCK!!

everyone bought little2 stuffs to much and have lunch cum dinner..

there were pizzaz,chickens,indian rojak,mimi's i-dun-know-what-u-call-that(but its delicious and filling!),drinks

thx may for offering ur house as a venue!

poor yap didnt know whats pot luck..and thot it was a restaurant!!

hehe..

we ended our potluck session with poh's desserts!!

and poh did notkeep toher word of finishing all the food!!

she was very very late...haha!!

so aftereating it was alrd 8 to 9 plus...

i tell you they wanted to skin me alive!!

(they didnt say that tho but their expressions tell)

thats cuz none except may knows what im up to next!!

i brought them to...

its at mount faber la btw...

and yes we were in spore..

no need passport kay?

ISNT IT PRETTY!!!

so we headed to the toilet first cuz i wanna make the girls jaw drop

(wait!!this sentence doesnt sound right!haha)

so the girls were wowed by the pretty toilet..!!

i would could have slept in that toilet!!

we were like total country bumpkin..!1(i guess thats the right word?)

fascinated by the beautiful lights!

and yes this pic is taken in the toilet!!

after that we went around to take pics with the beautiful decors over there...we played with the snow too...like small kids
more pictures can be viewed through the links to molly and poh..

(CAUSE THEY NEVA SEND ME THE PICTURES!!!)

we camwhored

and camwhored

and camwhoreed till we took the cable car to sentosa and back to vivo!!

AND i AGREE WITH POH IT WAS THE BEST CABLE CAR I EVER RIDE!!

know why?

cuz when the cable car zoomed

-we screamed at the top of our lungs like as though its a rolle coasrter ride..

-we sang out happy new year songs loudly..

-we played storytelling games

-and screamed and screamed!!

it was hell loads of fun!!

haha okay thats it for now!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!

surprises are my thing!!

game for more?

2008-12-28T17:34:00.002+08:00

week 6 slash seven
tell me how do u enjoy urself to ur fullest during ur major attachment??

i went to meet up with the girls at town with yap!

went to the zoo

to gran's house

to sakura

celebrate my sister's bday

Jewel box

went to town

chop my tresses

got some stuffs

went to harbourfront..

and many more!!

-and i foiled up a date with mimi boo hoo!!

BUT im making it up to her today!!!

guess what??!!we are having night today tgt!!

woops i meant night shift!!haha!!

im counting down till the days i meet u..10th jan 10th jan..

i hope u get the news..

2008-12-12T21:31:00.002+08:00

ive to make a decision soon..

whether to really set on my ambition to be a nurse a not..

Today i had to get my contract signed..

but im still pondering...

the basic is only x.x K

and i thot it was too little...

NO i still think its too little...

thinking of the amount of $ i wish to save every month...

and spending amt...

its not enuff...

and the bonus is X mth bonus...

which i still think is not enuff...

AM in this dilemma..wher i want to work or study

what i know is i want to play!!

yanting was asking me"what u wan play?"

lols!!

i jsut want to be carefree for a moment...

play till i had enuff....

oh ya yanting told me this which i find very very true!!

"wan play also need money!"

yea..asking mum is not a solution...

and how much can she give...

not enuff for my expenses...

and to work from age of 19...

19,20,21...is the prime of ur life..

do i wan this 3 years spent on working??

im still thinking....

to be or not to be??

whats stopping me??

HELP ME!!

2008-12-09T21:26:00.003+08:00

Oh ya..if you're wondering why i put this song in my blog..

its cause im having attachment at cancer ward,...so yea..it gives me motivation to see my patients

after hearing this song..=)

anw..before i forget!!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ZEEEEEEEEE CHIOBU!!!
may all happiness within u last forever and be chiobu always!!

HAPPY belated birthday to khair!!

and happy advanced 19th birthday to bestie nazmi!!!!!

finally ur turning 19th..like so late after all ur frens turn 19th ady..lols!!

im so excited to meet u up soon and get up the ferris wheel with u!!!

lalalala!!!counting down till weekends!!!!

big plan big plan big plan...well he got a big plan..but i dunno wat yet!!tsk!

2008-12-09T20:56:00.002+08:00

what an eventful holidays i have...

let me sum my 4 days hols aites,...

1st day-sleep(6/12/08)

2nd day-went to pop culture 3 dance competition at ecp

3rd day-gran's house for the festive occasion

4th day-out with lil sis!

alrite so 2nd day went to pop culture 3 to support team mates who joined the competition..
honestly i was wow-ed by Intenzify by their costumes!!and the fact tt the competiton item was so syncro and impactful...
zee's team-A.T.M were also there...i was blinded by their striking green luminous t-shirts...
they were good too..in fact saw the other side of daph on stage..zee presented herself as a nerdy teacher..charla was shocking too...
the fact tt they actually infused drama in the dance was surprising to me..it was nice too...

seeing them make me miss performing on stage!boohoo!!
lack of training made me lose my leg extension,my splits,..im so missing dance!!
tsk tsk...

3rd day went to gran's house...

it was a feast....

whatever gran cook was delicious..

well the food tt i grew up on was cooked by gran anw..hehs!

ALSO THE START OF MY STOMACH ACHE!!

today-
the last day of hols...
went to school!!
of all place...
but today i became good for awhile..
i borrowed oncology books to help me understand my patients better!
met up with germaine awhile to show her the VS catalog..
watch BOLT with lil sis!!
Everytime i go out with her i cirnge at the thot of spending my money on cartoon movies!!
the last i went with her was to watch wall-e!

but bolt turn out good!!
i love it...hehe..
but the person behind me need some movies etiquette!!
she/he kept kicking the chair!!phfft!!

well the story behind this movie is about friendship..and i love the quote given by rhino the hamster
it goes something like this
"when a friend is in need,you go.
whether he/she tells u to go,you go..
even if a lightning do strike,you go..."
its a nice story laa.
do catch it!!hehs!!

there's a flick chick coming up...but i dunno when...
tsk tsk..

my random thoughts!!

i eff-ing ly got my GIT screwed la...

my stomach got flatulence such tt wen i press my descending colon situated at the left side of ur body,

i can feel the vibrations of the air squishing!

ive been having diarrhea..!!does tt mean my menses is coming??

my.. i sound like a green horn all abt menses..

tmr's work day!!and im not really looking fwd abt tt..

tsk tsk..!

my own crazy query!!TRY ANS THIS!!

taking into account that 1 litre of water equates to 1kg of water..

(i think so it is laa....)

if you drink 1 litre of water does your body gain 1 kilo of body weight??

i tried drinking 1litre of h20 but i did not gain tt extra 1 kilo!!

then if u shit 1 kg of shit..does tt mean u lose 1kg of body weight??

i didnt try this..u guys may wanna try!!hehs!

2008-12-06T21:39:00.002+08:00

i cringe everytime someone ask me out...
cuz i cant make up whats my schedule for this 3 months..
either that or i would be too tired to get out...
OR im too cash strapped to get out..
thx to my 3 months final attachment..
but this week is different im having 2 weekends off,ph and rest day consecutively..
equates to 4 days off...
AND i spent the whole of TODAY sleeping..
so a total of 3 times falling asleep just today!

tmr SA dance gonna get in dance comp...
im so excited for the girls...
politics-lets not talk abt it...im quite fed up with those..
if only ppl just let things be..

okay im totalley freak up!!
i want to dance,play badminton,movie treats..
go sentosa,and many many more...but!
Im just unable to recharge myself!!
CAN I HAVE A CHARGER PLEASE!!!!

lets get high tmr!!!woohoo!!

gimme the hugs!!

2008-11-27T14:12:00.002+08:00

2 weeks and 4 days..time past so fast!!
nearly 3 weeks ady!!with my two weekday off days!!3weeks will soon be gone!
so ytd first time take cases!!and my preceptor asked me how many cases i want to take on dat day..
i wanted to take 2 only cuz i neva take cases before...

but she was so confident of me..
she gave me in charge of all the patients!!
tts a total of 5 pateints since 3 empty bed!
but cuz one patient had incident she took that case..phew~~
I was quite blur..but hey i was able to handle it...!

now i think i will have problems...
somehow i became too close to them...
(im in cancer ward btw..)
i just hope...
they will have the will to carry on living...
they bring laughter to me..
they share their past with me...
hurts me wen they tear and tell me how they felt when they were diagnosed..
THEY are the REAL heroes of the world..!

i'd pray for them..give them my best care..
i'd love them like my own..it's a challenge for myself...

nevertheless im still afraid of night shift!!
tell me bout it!!
going home at 9.30pm alone scares me off ady!!
especially that day wen i enter tearoom alone..
freaking out i went to toilet to wait for my fren...
however wen i got out!!i saw the GREEN TROLLEY!!
i was uber freaked out laa!!!
(btw green trolley is the trolley that they collect the bodies to the mortuary)

list of things to achieved soon!!!

-cut hair

-watch madagascar 2

-watch quarantine

-eat the ice-cream buffet!!

-go FB production

-go NRA's production

-go dance classes

-yoga!!

-maybe bungee this year?or maybe next?

2008-11-23T16:46:00.002+08:00

i miss someone terribly and subconsciously and i only noe that i miss that someone when i dreamt abt him/her!!!

im so hoping he/she will be there for the gathering...

its funny how we stay in the same estate yet we dun bump into each other!!

i wanna give every single of my sec skul frens a big tight hug and not let go can i??

i miss them terribly!!!

i suffered emotionally ytd cuz i had a longing feeling for my sec skul frens esp those that ive not been seeing for almost 3 yearS!!

sunday,wards feel so homely...

total 10 patients 6 empty beds and wen i left work 1 cubicle with empty beds!

today write report,do changes,

fussy patients,but wasnt personal with their eff-ness

tmr take case!tmr with my preceptor!

great fun!!

wish me luck!!its 2 weeks ady people!!!10 more to go aites!!

hang on!!

2008-11-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

random rants!!

-i hate it when ppl dunno how to say EXCUSE ME and just SQUEEZE their butt to fit in their not-so-small butts to this teeny weeny space beside you..and when they do so..they show their butt right to your face!!

-I hate it when ppl stand right in front of me, while im sitting at the bustop..covering my whole damn view of what bus is coming...
makes my long neck grow longer!!

- someone irritated me by not giving me directions and therefore i hit an SN foot with the hospital bed!

-you are just shitting thru ur mouth by incessant use of word and tt totalley irritate me...

-i irritated myself by not bringing my earpiece to work and therefore suffered silent bus rides to and fro!!

random happiness!!
-im totalley happy cuz ive finally managed to catheterise a patient(layman:poke a tube in the place where u pee)!!woohoo!!n yea she's a female..hehs!!
-im totalley happy with my almost 2weeks of attachmt!
-im totalley happy that i saw yap today..tho he came to my ward for the wrong reason(he came to collect RIP pts)
-im totalley happy that i saw CI josephine tt day for god noes what reason was i happy also!
-im totalley happy when i saw sumone the other day at the last hour.
-im totalley happy that i had dinner with azimah sexy mama!!hehs!
-im totalley happy that the weekends coming tho i wont have two off days on weekend!!

in conclusion..
im happy for the little things yet little things do irritate me..!
the presence of frens make me happy!!haha!!!

random thots!!
the day when i will stop needing my handphone as an mp3 is when i get the songs played up on my mind!

love you all!!

2008-11-14T17:19:00.002+08:00

so 1 week done!
phew!11weeks of PRCP aka final MAJOR posting tt student nurses have to go through!!
3days of orientation was abit too draggy and BORING!!
well wat made it fun was the company i had!!
not forgetting rouhui who joined us like on the 2nd day!!

anyways,ward attachment was fun!!
so far laa...
get good staffs!!nice preceptop (still crossing fingers)
good roster!!
oh thank god dis sat and next im OFF duty!!
dat means i can go for my last 2 lessons of dance!!woohoo!!
okay after tt focus to prcp AND driving!

tts all laa my updates!!
and oh ya!!!
ive a major news!!!
I'vE gone FATTER LAR!!!phfft and im soo gonna turn bulimic or maybe anorexic soon!!cuz ive been weighing myself daily!!
wondering if i should crash my diet or go to dance classes or pilates to return to my ideal weight!

we are all gonna go apart..

would all of us still rmb each other?

are we gonna be part of each other thots?

i will be missing you guys!!and u guys know who..

p/s lunch with him was FUNNY!!haha!!

2008-11-09T15:54:00.002+08:00

wooh!!Finally the end of holidays!!
im so EXCITED/LOOKING FORWARD/just uber excited for PRCP!!
dun ask me why...
maybe im finally reaching my dream...?
the dream of being a nurse..?
i still rmb that i said to Mrs Foo C.S in sec 1 tt i wanted to be a nurse...
i was nonetheless looked down upon..for WANTING to be a nurse...
andtill this day..the guy who always got bullied back then in secondary school, jerome unexpectedly still rmbs it and
asked me the other day if im still on my journey to be a nurse...

i hope i wudnt look back on my 3yrs education..
(well partly the reason i broke up with my ex for looking down on my career prospects..)

so holidays have been fun!!
went to genting with mum and sis at a last min 12midnite bus coach over down...
last day of A&E attachment and i went over to halloween's nite..
and rushed down to golden mile for the trip!

came back and then injured my neck adn shoulder!!so i skippede dance with SA!!
phfft!!
i cant really rmb wat i did after tt..
but i noe i keep going out!!hehs!!
it was a period of short and sweet holidays!!

So today my last day of holiday!!
im going to clean up my wardrobe!!
which has been due for cleaning ever since before raya sets in...hehs!!
gotta find my missing nursing watch in tt whole junkyard of my wardrobe!!

and my phone has been due for collection in which i wud collect it maybe tmr!!
woohoo!!
happiness and double happiness!!
and TMR LEE FUNG GONNA BE OVER AT SGH!!!ward 47!!!im so happy she's over at SGH!!and 1 ward down from mine!!

okay nurses lets endure this 3MONTHS of PRCP yea!!!
loves!!

2008-11-09T15:42:00.005+08:00

Annual meet up with the melayus of 4C-ians!!
it was awesome!!with past year jokes tt still made us chuckle!!
this year bringing Zul in..his first outing with us!
tho this year's outing was much lesser ppl...
it was no doubt lots of fun!
as usual had our buka puase first..but this time went over to haji lane there after...

oh thx zul for being our cameraman!hehe

these girls fell while trying to take shots on air!!it was hilarious cuz all of us were concentrating on our own to jump and get tt freeze!!lols!

The gang tt went...while some shisha-ed me,ezan and zul went over to snap snap!!

there's loads of pics but i cant be bothered to dwld all of it up u see....hehs!!

this was funny...we STOLE a pic over here..
but hey i wanna go IN next time..
seems to be selling nice and CHEAP clothes and accesories!!

the paintings on the wall??i wonder who does it...but its a nice piece of art...
enjoyed our ANNUAL outing...the fact tt it was made possible with the organisers...
we came tgt but now live lifes apart...
different lines different dreams..but we still made time for each other!!
love u guys!!
and i missed the takbir since i was out with them!!!

the joy tt ive missed...

2008-11-06T14:49:00.002+08:00

sorry lah for the delay..much to my amazement i was tag by three ppl...so here goes!

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.
Tagged by May and Mimi and Poh

here goes

1. Do you have secrets?
Yeap i do laah duh!
2. Would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
I cant lie..i used to think its silly but if the guy look matured i wud go for it..anw no one noes if the guy next to u is 1 age of a difference or two..unless he look childish and literally young??i ges?
anw there's no rule saying u cant go for a younger guy.hehs!
3. Do you enjoy going to school?
yea i do...cuz can meet people and socialise..well i always go to school for the wrong reason..
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
keep and bury with me when i die..ok kidding..prolly split among my family my grandma so tt they can go up the ladder..?
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
NOOO NEVER!!Cuz he's someone i dun wanna lose..so why risk losing someone u can almost never find?
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both laa...being loved will make u feel blessed,loving someone(well the right one) makes tt someone feel bless which in turn makes u more blessed?haha!
7. List 5 favourite movies
Mean girls
Wishing stairs
4bia
Camprock
Rush hour!
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'd get crushed laa...duh!but heck cuz i dun wan to be attached so why waste someone else's chance of getting attached?
9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
ehk alot of things make me extremely happy..but one i cant forget was the OBS incident!!haha!
where a guy actually help keep me warm(ehh dun think dirty ehs)while i was shivering and literally chattering my teeth in the dawn!aww...so sweet!!and no he was just my crush...lols!
10. Do you have any regrets?
ya..i'd be mean if i'd say it here...lols!

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
doing sth different?i like to venture out of my own norms..so yea..prollyy teaching?dancing,photgraphing?artist?i dunno?air stewardess maybe?
12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
eh my grandma,family, bestie and friends too
13. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?
poh-kuku she can get all blur and so innocent tt u just cant resist calling her kuku..sumone who u can grab to go take those thrilling rides!!she's game for fun!
may-she's the kind tt u can look for..for dirrrty talks...kk im kidding..but she LOVES thinking WRONGLY..if u get wat i mean..hehe and she loves banana...as in the fruit laa wat u all thinking?
Mimi-she's the kinda tt if u need a cuppa at starbucks or a shoppa..she's the one u cud bring..
she's the one who u can talk for hours over the phone and the kinda tt u can spend few hours sitting at delifrance and hint the waiter tt ur dessert not served(well it happened to me heh)..
and coincidentally these 3 are my PPG gang!!a crazy clique tt was formed due to a crazy attachment!!hehs!

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
i'd be wat i am now...lols
15. What is your favourite colour?
Green!!!Hehe
16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Not at the moment
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
the funnier one..well i havent fell in love with 2 ppl b4..haha!!
18. What are the top five countries on your 'to-go' list?
must it be countries?
well i'd love to got
Maldives,
Australia
Thailand,
Hong Kong
Japan
North pole can??
19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
eh swinging single??
20. Five people I have tagged
phfft! I dunno who!!
siqin
fatt
xl
zul
nas

2008-10-31T17:50:00.002+08:00

sorry people i was away...
well this entry is to let u guys noe tt i finish attachment and now on hols!!
but ttys not the point..
the point is i lost my contacts all cuz my stupid phone eventually spoilt..
and i was dumb enuff to keep the contacts in phone memory...
it will be under repair soon..but u guys pls text me to gimme ur number!!
HAHA thx!!
will update soon!!hehe....
love y'all...

sorry ppl if i never reply ur tags,go to ur blog or watever..
but i shall be on the cyber world soon!!
updates will be soon too!!
got too much to say tt im exploding!!woohoo!!

zee:Heys chiobu!!thx for informing me abt spongebob!!i know...and have voted for him...hehe...

2008-10-27T19:32:00.006+08:00

been busy to updates so here goes what i did when i was away!

Bestie passed his TP!!
okay and i was proud fulfilling my duty as a bestie
to give moral,physical and whatever support u can get..
i was there at the driving ctr to wait for bestie's results!
and god dammit!!he took his driving later then mine and he passed all at first try faster then me...
hollashit!
but oh wells!!his first passenger awaits..hehe
his passing equates to my motivation to finish mine soon!!

after he got his license and bought his P plate..
farith aka bawang came with his cool red motorbike..

then we set off to SP..for bestie's treat!!he was sweet enuff to take a bus with me down to SP lols!!
the awhile later rizal joined us...

haha..been long since we met up tgt...

and yea!!i got to know bestie doesn't know how to wear a helmet...

hahahah!!

rizal with bawang's bike..hehs!

then came rayer outing...
well the only one i went with my frens..hehs!

and then new bunch of ppl at Operating theatre posting...

well if u minus azimah and yan ting...its not tt crazy like the batch tt was thrown over to ttsh..
k not all of the ppl were in the pic tho..

my newfound bitchmate for OT and A&E..

she totalley go crazy and ooh la la..

k wait tt sounds wrong...but holla...

we stayed till late on the last day of OT at housemen..!haha for total of 3 hours plus..

and yes in uniform!

2008-10-17T20:33:00.003+08:00

aargh!!!im effing pissed!!!

if YOU are one of those who forgets ur bestie or even a close fren!!

please wake up and think twice!!

for he or she has gone thru loads with you...

and if YOU abandon/ignore ur bestie or your close fren INTENTIONALLY!!

u fall in the category of ppl tt im pissed with!!

GOD's GRACIOUS pls look back at the all the times u've been tgt!!

and phfft!!if you're ignoring/abandon-ing ur close fren of bestie because of A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND!! or someone new..

i'll just pray u'd break up soon!!u'll run back to ur bestie/close friend crying tt ur eff-ing lonely..

by then its too late!!!

im not being evil...but hey look back and see who was with u BEFORE u eff-ing got ur PARTNERS!!

and heaven's you guys are not MARRIED YET!!!

and that will be a different story!!

yea as expected less time will be spent with ur bestie/close fren!!

but hey even a simple good day msg or random msg will show tt you still rmb ur fren!!!

aargh!!!where's ur effort in doing so??NONE AT ALL!!!

u shittoditto!!grr!!

and if anyone is reading this and realise u guys are doing so...

PLEASE go and send a simple msg to ur bestie/gd fren to show tt u rmb them...

taking this opportunity to thank bestie for being with me..

attachie

2008-10-13T21:15:00.008+08:00

A new bunch of friends

A new posting...

Its all a good change.

as much as i dread..posting wasn't that bad after all..

there are the good and bad of both hospitals that i went to...

and thx to partner/scandal for sticking with me and working with me..

and tolerating my PMS...and me keep disturbing u...

for going breaks tgt if possible..and helping me in one way or another..

it was a crazy ride but it was sure great..

must say the place got really nice place to take pics...

and yea we didnt get to go to the cafe which had a romantic ambience...haha!!

and oh ya the lift at novena square was awesome...it mkae sounds when we press it...

so me and partner would always press and press to get some music...haha!!

next was HSE

at KWS

another bunch of new found friends..

made TWO DAYS enjoyable!!

there were funny...esp tt guy there...he is so....UPRIGHT...

can i say tt..?

one funny thing i cant forget abt him?

he ordered zinger without the chicken!!cause he's vegetarian!!

wadtha!!

he's also the joke of the day..much of a walking dictionary..which i think some of the girls in my class would need it!!

lols!

look at this closely..i kept passing this room while listening to lec at KWS..i tot it was a patient..

was wondering why the patient neva moved at all..

asked the person..

and he said..its a mannequin..

forgot the name..but it look so real...

and there's a story behind the name...oh ya the name is annie!!now i rmb!!

lols!

the name is derived because long time ago there's this girl called annie who commited suicide so..

the person who made the mannequin made it as similar to the girl..

so tt ppl who want to do BCLS or whatever u need to do to the mannequin makes u rmb that ur saving annie!!

i love the old setting and architecture of building..

its so full of history..i love the screens as well..so old school kinda..

almost wanted to take the place as a photoshoot...haha!!

okay here's what i did at HSE~!

-orientation of ourself to the the elderly

-orientation,validation and reminiscence therapy..-yea we conducted it on our own!!!!

-chicken dance,hokey pokey,cha cha.

-a ball game with forfeit tt we introduced to them...

-the rest of the day we played mahjong,art and craft,talk to them..

it was hell of fun!!well maybe cause i like geront..haha!!

im done with geront...now left with ED AND OT!!

now i can count with my fingers the days to meeting my bestie..!!lalala!!

a few more days to meet yap yap

a few more days to jalan raya

a few more days to see..

a few more days to..

2008-09-19T15:54:00.005+08:00

yay!!In case your wondering how's my link suppose to be pronounced..

it is psyskutz as in sai-scootz!

haha dun ask me wat it means..i just find it nice to mouth this word..

-a sign of neologism..hehe

and dun be disappointed with the same blogskin..and maybe blogsong..

i might or might not change the blog..just that im hooked with this skin...cuz its green!!hehe

anyhoo!!im here not to update about what my url or blog is all about...

im here to update one of my holi-DAY..

haha so cool aites..

so i went to monsters of hiphop..

a dance production they would do bi-annually if im not wrong..

the starting was okay..not sth tt wow-ed me..

but thruout the dance...it escalated up..

bring up my emotions and wanting to see more...

and playing funky songs..

and my current fave song closer by neyo..

it was awesome!!

my most favourite dance of it all that still leaves an impression on me

is "where has my baby gone" its a cute couple dance...

nice song...

nice concept...it illustrate a story..

i'd also like the high-school musical kinda concept..

like they started out dancing at a basketball scene

and moved to different2 scenes!!

its so inspiring...

i tell you that i WANT to be on THAT stage!!

not forgetting the costumes were fabulous..!!

so superb..

and thinking of the musical tt i did back then..

it was nothing...!!-no offence..

and then..

my eyes got FIXED!!

this guy danced using boxers..

spongebob to be exact..

when he's up there performing..

it just wow u!!so inspiring..

and he knows how to play with facial expressions..

aargh!!

okay so after the production ended..

we went hang around that area...

lols with a purpose in mind...huahuahua...

but i didnt see him around..so me and germ went to take a walk alone..

only two of us...

cuz we wanted to see....

haha..

and the tot we cudnt see anyone...

so went to toilet...and i saw zee along the way and said

"zeee.....i wanna take pic with that spongebob!!!"*sad face*

suprisingly zeee was like..."Orh...you mean (his name) arh"

"okay quick quick come.."

i tell u we were like charging him form far...

made zee with that dress look alil unglam..

but hey she helped me...

*evil laughters*

so here goes the pics!!

tt guy in red is him...

argh!!

*melts*

and coincidentally me wearing red too...

haha..and wen taking this pic..

when we all had alrd formed up..he actually shyed away and left..

but came back..arghh!!!so cute can..

the point in time where i can feel my lips shivering...

so nervous can standing beside him..

there's another guy actually..

who's pretty nice and can dance sexily..im sooo..

INSPIRED and AWED!!

but i didnt see him around..

kay so here goes me and germ with her candy!

haha he's a dancer too..

which many of my alumni think he's hot...

hehe

and then i became evil..

these few pics are taken for a reason...

don't look at the main ppl..

haha..hint he's just behind me...

im so dead if anyone of them so this..phfft!

2008-09-07T16:02:00.002+08:00

i was away for 3days...

i came back happy...

only to know that my happiness was short-lived..

like a flickering bulb that ended up fused..

and so i learnt from my Mrs J.wong tt

when there's a squabble you just shut up cuz the other party hopes for a rebuttal..

if u rebutt,u provoke and the other party wins...

and there won't be any ending in the squabble...

but what happen when u just shut up..

only to know you risk getting physically abused...

and to know that you're already emotionally bruised?

i am bruised and emotionally tormented...

and i hate it...

why can't I enjoy happiness a lil longer??

2008-09-04T17:44:00.002+08:00

So i thought and i think i know..

Rab(me ) will be disgusting if i loses my language..

yea...

and im starting to be disgusting!!

haha!!

i'd be away..

learn to laugh at your own self before you can laugh at others

2008-09-03T20:57:00.002+08:00

you know sitting at home like a couch pohtahtoe never fail to make my mind idle..

i think alot..i DREAM alot..

i always have alot internal battle going on in my mind..

and fasting month=lot of activities lesser=more idling of the mind..

see what ive did ever since fasting month started?

-sleep,wake up early,eat my break fast in the wee hours,pray,think think think,then fall asleep..

-pray

-go out

-read books,mags or whatever i can find

-go driving pracs

-listen to perfect ten...

wala wala..well anyway tt's beside the point..

i just wanted to write down my wildest dream in my life so far..

hehe

My wildest dreams/wish

when i was a kid,a pre-schooler i'd dreamt tt i'd be able to swim

(and i still cant..boohoo!)

when i started growing up..i dreamt tt i cud be a gymnast!doing those somersaults and stunts looked wayy awesome!

(poof!it was just a dream but i was able to do a center split when i was small!!)

then i grew up..i wanted to perform on stage

(my first stage experience was on my first day of primary one!i was called up by the principal to read a story book!!it was scary!!and i'd rmb tt the last page was when the chickens go "chirrp!cheeeep!chirrrrp!!")

singing looks interesting!!it wasn't part of my dream..but i joined choir!!haha!!

and i continue growing up..and then..i saw the libraians zapping barcodes..and i told my mum i wanted be a libraian!

(and i did became one..but after zapping books i got tired and sick of it and quitted..arranging books in library was horrible!!)

when i was in primary school..i dreamt tt i could dance

(and yes i did..i performed for teacher's day for twice of thrice)

i dreamt tt i wanted to be a netballer..

(i became one..but quitted cuz of some reasons...)

so i got to a decent secondary school...

i dreamt to play the drums!!

(i couldn't cuz mum wants me to join SJAB!)

i dreamt i was able to join dance

(i did in sec 1 buty quitted after sec 1 cuz it did one choreography for a year..how boringg??!)

i dreamt i could be on stage

(yea i did..i gave speeches and recite the school and national pledge..)

then going on to poly

i fulfilled my dream of joining dance...suprisingly stayed thruout wen mum tot i wud quit halfway

i wanted to perform

(yea i did..countless of time on diff occasions)

and now i got the wildest dream...

i wanna do an mtv just for myself..like agnes monica!

(geez this will only be a dream...never to be able to fulfill!!)

dreams make life interesting..

whether it tears u apart make u go crazy...

i guess dreams make u chase after it so tt life will be more meaningful..

a step closer to your dreams make u delighted..

just like.....oh nvm..hee!

2008-09-02T21:38:00.002+08:00

woah!!finally my first driving practical lesson today!!
it was a killer...
knowing tt i had nightmares of driving ever since i started doing practical
made it worst..
it was scary knowing tt i had to be alone..
going there all by myself..
finding the car tt i was assigned to..
it was so blurr..

i came early cuz i cab down even tho its 15mins away from my house..
haha..
but when i was there the schedule is not up yet..
and beside me was this guy who was ranting away on the phone using
those f-words just cause he cant book his tp yet..lols!
i started freaking up when the schedule wasnt up yet when it was already 15mins away from my lesson time..
and then..when it was up..
i was scared i had to find my own way to the car..
car 158..
lols!

my instructor looked like a girl but was actually a guy..
dammit!!
haha
he was nice luckily seeing tt it was my first lesson!!
but the freaky part was when he handed over the car to me!!
i was freaking out every moment!!
and like may i was like "huh??my turn to drive arh?"
lols!!
if anyone were to see my face at tt moment..
i tell u it was priceless..

driving at 20km/hr seems to be damn fast..
and yea!!i kept stalling!!
and got one part i pressed the accelerator and half clutch such that the gear cant be changed
and it made a screeching sound!!
i ended up laughing away laa!!

during the course of driving,it started raining and luckilt in abt 2omins time i was ending my lesson!
instead of getting out of the car to change back seats..we started hopping in the car to change our seats!
it look so wrong...geez!

im pretty freaked out for my next few lessons
but i still have to do it..!phhhft!!
n yea my legs turned jelly after the driving!

geez thx bestie nazmi for encouraging me...and yea ur soo gonna grad first la!!
and u've to keep ur promise yaw!!
rent a car where we both take turns to drive around!!
and lee xiao wei for telling me not to be disheartened..
haha!!thx babe!!

2008-09-02T20:52:00.007+08:00

okay here goes!!

picnic!!-yea baby!!but i forgot abt the retro music!Bummer!

Picnic was excitingly and unexpectedly fun!!

we woke up at 6am just to be there by 8am!!

and yes at the classic place!botanic gardens!

the last i went there was like when in primary school doing the science "I am a young Botanist" project!

the place changed alot!!

and as u can see the pictures above are stolen from poh's bloggie!!haha

she have yet to send me the pics and i love one of the pics which she did not post out in her blog!!

i tell u POH WAS UBER EXCITED tt she went WOOH! WOOH!

so cute la she..

haha!!

after tt went to watch meet dave with poh n mimi

it was a random suggestion cuz tt day movie was priced at 6bucks!

haha..we went wisma starbucks before tt..rmb tt poh and may was with me the last i went there!!

notebook

2008-09-01T21:34:00.005+08:00

it's high time i throw away my lil notebook.
my lil jotterbook..
my doodle companion..
this little book witnessed my anger,frustration,my love,my time doodling..
the book that help me sort out my time..
im so attached to this book that throwing it seems too hard for me to do!
so here goes me unrevealing snippets ink-written words..!

random time table..

wed 16/07/08

1010-1100 hs 3041 k.403 bernard

1110-1200 hs3041 k.403 bernard

1205-1255

1300-1350 hs 3034 LTJ-2 Pat C.

1400-1450 hs3034 LTJ-2 Pat C.

4-5pm theory paper!!

1 water

3 salt

2 large sheet of polyethylene

8 cigarette lighter

9 newspaper

compass

air map

torch

4 a selection of spare clothing

6 choc

first aid

loaded pistol

5 knife

7 small mirror

rmb this exercise in clemaus tutorial?where our group consist of mostly the chatterbugs made so much din to debate which was the most important to survive in the airplane crash?..haha!!

okay here goes my lil doodling stuffs!

Where(direction) you think this (both you & me) is heading to now?

where you want to head it to?

You got me tangled up!!!

Got me thinking, got me pondering

i've never thought of it as of yet

You got me dumbfounded again

why you jkasjdk(i can't read this word) me??

Why you're asking me?

What do you want it to be?

I enjoy your company and thats all that matter to me!

i never knew

i never anticipate

I never wanna know what the future has its take

expect the unexpected

& its really unexpected

tell me why i'm afraid??

my thoughts are jumbled

putting me in this state

~~made me glance at the past to see~~...~~how it~~...

im just afraid...

just afraid...

Tell me...

~~how did~~

A story..

how did it even started w/o me knowing it..

~~It's like~~

*slap me* Wake me up..

Is this really e reality?

I'm just afraid...afraid to proceed..

~~I just~~ Do you even want to proceed?

I don't know my next move..i never knew my moves...

It's impromptu..

i don't plan,I don't wanna plan

the bon-voyage note for ASD haha this is the actual one but in my book got alot of drafts!

It wasn't that long we got to know you.

The first time we saw you,back

then in *** wd**, being one of e jovial, cheerful, and very helpful SN.

Nevertheless tt moment of student-staff r'ship

blossomed into friendship bounded by fate

that got us this close.

You'd be away fro awhile as part of you career..We wish you e

best of luck and we believe tt you know what to do

for him

Finally pondering over the maths

problem sums tt you came up with

Answers really don't pop in my mind

What's the formula tt i need to use?

WHich method?

scalars or vectors?

Im good in neither..

6days or less for me to solve?

Do I really have to get it solve

or will the ans just be unknown

in the end?

another one

Boy!You got me confused..

You wanna know where you stand..

You wanna know where's the direction..

To tell you e truth..I ain't sure myself

The direction tt you and me are

heading to seems e same..

Both in the land of fantasy world

indulging in an imaginary r'ship

where both finds comfort in..

I'm really really not sure

where to head to next.

I'm afraid to ~~show~~ make the move

For the imaginaryh r'ship might just.

disappear into thin air..

But it seems that we are

bound tgt by this thing tt...i odn't know..

Haiz..!YOu got me confused boy!I never had this feeling..

I'm losing my words...

What got you questioning?

Why didnt I think about it?

It wasn't anticipated..

I was really dumbfounded

Again..

The last time you got me dumbfounded was when you

sent me home..

Wanting to extend e time

to talk..

But i couldn't..Cuz it was midnight..

I clearly rmb what you did after tt..

Doing reflections..by the lil reservoir..

I swore..i've no idea what was going on

But you swoon me and I found you

sweet to send me home when it was

totally out of the way..

The first guy to do tt(afta long)..It sure carved a lasting impression

But nevertheless..I thot it was just a casual act from you..tho i dohave my suspicions.

WHen you asked me out,

Before you were sent to serve the country

It was just you and me..

ANd i didn't dress up properly..

Just you adn me

by the enticing blue sea.

we talked and talked..

had fun,laughter and jokes..

YOur phone kept ringing..

but somehow,sitting beside you felt so comfortable..It was just YOU..

Something i've not felt for long time since..

It was a strage feeling..

strange feeling...

But it didnt get me questioning

I cried the next day when you left..

i ain't sure why?

But i know..i was missing you...

and somehow the thot of someone

I'm confrotable with leaving me

got me broken down

the fear of you leaving me got into me..

But why?When we barely knew each other?

It was just strange to come to thin about it...

WHen we are strangers..i felt

comfortable talking to you,listening to you & i love your company..

It's funny that i can't explain it..

perhaps i know it..

Right here..deep in my heart..

But i can't seem to find the words to put it down..

i don't know..

what's/where do i want to head to?

Well..I just want to be in your hands..

so tt you cant think of where to put me..

I like what we are now..

Undeniably,its an imaginary rship..

gosh tt was long!!haha didnt beleive i could write tt much..okay here's a last one before i post it..

i have another one but its sooo not pleasant so i'd post it the next one!!

I miss you..

I'm thinking of you..

I want to sit beside you

*i like you*

I miss your voice

I miss your laughter

i miss your braces

can i (fill in a word) you?

can we enjoy what we are a lil longer?

Can we stay stagnant?

Im afraid to change the situation (his nick)

Im waiting to see you soon..

2 weeks not gonna meet..

2008-08-27T21:28:00.002+08:00

the picnic/i would call it the morning breakfast was a success!!
yea with me taking two cabs just to reach the destination!!-botanic garden!!
haha it was fun..
we brought alot of foodstuffs!!like romantic like tt four of us!!
OH DID I TELL YOU WHAT TIME WE MET???!!
hah we met at 8AM!!!lols at gleneagles hospital!!

ya its crazy..BUT its sure HAPPENING when all four is sporty and into this kinda thing..!!
haha we laid mats and had typical picnics...
BUT THE DOGS WERE SCARY!!!!
got me chicken-ed out!!haha
..

i wish i cud talk more abt it..but no fun when theres no pics to post yet!!haha will post it up soon...
so im not going talk much more on the picnic till i get the pics poh chu chu!!!

SHOUTOUT!!!

tt person who is suppose to stick with me for all my attachments..

you are WANTED on ONE of the weekdays just before geront posting!!

and u better make ur self free arh u!!holidays never even contact me u kental..

make urself free meaning...from late afternoon to break fast okay!!haha

time to bond and tell me many many many STORIES U OWED ME!!kukukental u!

haha

2008-08-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

shuddup rab!!
grrr....

2008-08-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

weds-picnic

friday-flyers

sunday-vivocity

my life couldnt be much better!!

looks like it only happens on odd days...

cant wait cant wait counting the days...

2008-08-20T11:52:00.002+08:00

ONE LAST PAPER AND THAT'S IT!!
3106 is sucha B****
I'm cranky..and i cant wait to get loosen up!

tmr will be the day im looking yet not looking forward to..
Looking cuz we gonna go clicks clicks and snap snap...
not looking cuz it will be the end of many happy beginnings..lol!
(the bad ones dun mention..)

im tired...getting only 4 hours of continous sleep per day is killing me..
but soon no more deprivation of sleep...
that meaning to having one month of holidays before attachments..
woo!~
holidays haven start but ive started getting appointments ady!!
yeay!
many thx to those that made my day!!!lalala

i fell in love with the waiter waiter...

picking up the plates,

serving my order

makes my heart go woo woo woo..

lolS!

-random

its time to hit the books again!!

2008-08-07T20:01:00.002+08:00

A song...composed to fit what i feel..
it made me cried when i wrote this down..as i wrote this piece..
songs like avril lavigne's
"My happy ending" and fergie's "big girls don't cry" came to my mind..
hahs.
okays enjoy my bitterness...

Does it break your heart to see mama cried?
Does it ease your mind when you see fights going on...
does it....
does it even matter that the whole world's tearing apart...?

You...
you just turn so cold overnight..
the hatred you had was in your eyes
YOu...you were just so cold...
Your heart was like a stone...

Where...
Where was the innocent one you once were?
WHere i tried to help..
gave you chances to grab
Trust you just like that
cover you up....
I never wish i did that..

You know how much we pamper you..
got all the stuffs,you had it all...
you'd know how much we love you...
i'd even hug u to sleep every night..

Now you are throwing our face right in the mud..
Run away with all your might...
why..why did u do as you did?

It tears my heart to see what you did..
stabs my heart to see her cry..
every action u made....was a slap to our faces...
you are such a ...disa....pointment...

it hurts...
it hurts very much...
it hurts to see everyone is torn apart...
and its cause of you......

Why... don't you even have the slightest sorry....
I'd wish you'd changed back to who you were...

You'd made such a big fall...
and now you'd pull all of us down..
i'd hope u bring us back up and go on your own right path...
i know it aint that easy but u got to try...
Be true to yourself..
i know you could make it up..
please try.....

I am NOT okay...

What you CAN do is to keep me DISTRACTED..

I DON't wish to bring my negative feelings over to school..

that's the REASON why i don't wish to tell you my friends on what is happening..

hypocrites and liars

2008-08-05T23:45:00.004+08:00

Guilt strike the hypocrites
hypocrites lies in denial..
whatever makes the world unhappy..
a reason to cultivate hatred..

For you are the reason that affect others, therefore SEE and THINK about others. For you are not the only human on earth.
-Rab Jr.

Unknown to rest
Be known to me..
whats on the outside is not me.

tell a lie
tell a tale
none of these will cover up ur way.

a lie...
is something u can never ever end...
a lie ..
brings unrest
a lie...
can make everyone shake...
a lie...
is a sin..
it will trouble ur life...
a lie...
is what i learnt my grave mistake from....
it all roots to just a single lie which have a domino effect...

juvenile court? girls home?
a decision pushed to me....

im just haywired at the moment and no one noes bout it....

just random of whatever's happen to me..

assumptions is up to own individuals...

2008-07-28T12:57:00.001+08:00

I'll be back!

2008-07-14T17:00:00.002+08:00

Ive not been blogging..

DUH!obviously!! go to my nurses blogs as well and their updates are like 1 mth=1entry

alot of things messing up my life,spicing up my life,making my life enjoyable/worst..

im going CRAZY just not being CRAZY...

i simply just cant wait for JULY to be over yet im enjoying the process of it..

lets see what events i had but hadn't had time to blog...

my birthday party

lunchtime performances

stagearts camp

lunchtime performance yet again

dance practices with sha

and i cant rmb somemore!!!

upcoming performances

Sakura club as invited guest for their production

SA production

Outdoor performance which will prolly mark my last performance

despite being busy like mad..

juggling between dance,projects and events im still thankful to those who help me to release my tensed nerves..

those frequent sms-es made me feel more human..

talking and listening to frens who had problems made me more human too...

those calls made to me was very much appreciated..

catch up with haikel was good..!lols!

i badly need a get out...and i predict tt its ONLY POSSIBLE AFTER JULY!..

and yes i fell sick 3times just last week cuz my immune system just decide to shut itself down on me..

its a scary encounter when friday my immune system just gave up on me!

my two thumbs start to feel very numb and it turned cyanosed.

i felt nausea and wanted to vomit..

i turned pale like a white sheet..

i was shivering..

everything was just not feeling right..

scare the hell out of me...

ppl says ive been overexerting myself..

well i guess it might be true...

ive always been out of home in the morning like 8 or 9am only to be back at night..

i dun see my parents,my sis,my cat!!

i miss home badly..

maybe im just homesick??

okay i gtg!!

okay ive planned up activities to do ady!!

-picnic and i really mean picnic!

-rollerblading

-watch movies!!!

-just get out and chat with the girls!!

- I WAN AN OUTING WITH YAP!!
AND MAK!!!
and him.....

2008-07-03T12:29:00.003+08:00

the best way a person can drive me up to the walls..

getting me swallowing up all my f-words

trying to irritate me..

making me erupt..

something that is not worth to get angry over is when someone don't think

and expect me to make the decisions for them.

i won't be pissed if you are a kid but kids these days can even think better

and the reason im pissed is cause

you don't think at all.

im pissed for making every single decision for you.

might as well i do your part if i have to tell you every single thing.

im pissed cause you don't even show the effort.

PLEASE use your brain cells or else it will generate and die.

PLEASE don't ask me questions if you never tried answering it on your own.

PLEASE don't ask me for solutions when you have not tried finding solutions on your own.

PLEASE don't keep asking me HOW or whether CAN ANOT before you ask that yourself.

PLEASE THINK before you do anything because if not your just wasting your brain cells.

please don't make my life miserable and ask me when you have not done your very own part because

im not your teacher.not your lecturer.

im not smarter than you.

im not god,im not perfect,

im not intelligent BUT I THINK.

Don't drive me up the walls cause i really don't wish too.

And if im again asked questions that is so redundant i will not hesitate to just shut up and walk off.

For I see no point in wasting my own energy on such.

SO PLEASE!DO YOUR PART!

Think on your own cause YOU ARE given the power to think.

and again im not your teacher/lecturer-you don't have to tell me that you want to go toilet!

2008-06-25T14:26:00.003+08:00

i was being sucha b**tard yesterday..

i was being scolded by the driver at the interchange for drinking

when there's no sign at the inthe interchange saying no drink..

i got up the bus and he was still rambling away about no drink..

out of courtesy..i told him the drink is finished..and board the bloody bus...

while on the ride home..i was thinking why i was so nice to him when he actually scolded me publicly...

so i decided to be a b**tard..

this was what i did...

SQUIRT VITASOY All over the floor...since there was no passengers around..!!

i should have taken a picture of my finished product but couldnt cuz was laughing away in my heart alone...

thx driver!for scolding when ive not done anything wrong..hope u had a great time cleaning up!haha!

2008-06-19T13:26:00.002+08:00

Its my bday!!wee..im turning 19...

okay ive turned 19-teen..

goodbye 18-teen..

and hello 19-teen..

okay shall update more later..haha!!

i turned 19 on the 19..pls buy 1919..haha..okay im kidding la.

chaoz!

counting down time to meet bestie!!!

ooh lala...

and my friends...!

2008-06-09T22:44:00.003+08:00

THE BIG GROOVE WAS WAAAYYYY AWESOME!!!

WCO was DOPE!!

SO was the OCREW!!

mindblowing event...most of the time i was like wooow!!haha..

ITS SUCHA MISS LAST YEAR B UT IM GLAD WE MADE IT THIS YEAR!!

*sidetrack*

and best was I SAW MR HOTBOD!haha in red..

he's getting smaller than ever...the one that made me smile..sad he was with his crew...

lol!

so to say holidays is here...

aww alrite...

today my free day...

went to meet zul at boat quay...

if there's ever anyone whoyou could see clad in slippers shorts and tee shirt...

at raffles place-it has to be him

(and if u dunno wheres raffles place..its the place where theres alot of major banks offices there and where ppl are found mostly in suits an d ties)

and YES GOODNESS HE WENT TO WORK LIKE THAT!!

and finally got his zine...

reminisced those old stories..

how the class rejects upturned their lives..

talk abt homos...etc etc

well it was just endless conversations i suppose...

haha!!

those ol' good times...

yea next up will be with hasif and him i guess..

its been long since i see him too..haha..

the fellow1c and 2c-ians...

o now im missing wen yao...

the fact tt he makes me laugh every second...

bullying him every now and then!!

talking about the zine..

i finished reading the first one...going on to the second...

the more graphical one...haha..it is really graphical...

lol!!

and oh may has left for korea...

sweet of her to call me up at the airport...

i hope she have fun there and take loads of pictures....

im missing bestie!!

he's so gonna b e there on my bdae!!

lol!!no confirmed plans but he has to be there..

no more excuses...

F*** since when i became so random...

and im becoming so vulgar these days...

im speaking more malay...

and im not just myself....

zaid made me smiled..he taught me spanish

he didnt know what to teach and came out with

le tequiero

haha...le tequiero ppl!!

2008-06-07T22:57:00.002+08:00

today went for dance explosion!!
it was kinda nice not having tt much ppl there..
the venue was quite horrible...
if not to my sis i wouldnt be wearing my white pointed pumps with my blue dress...
the place was at the open field..muddy floor despite the green canvas as flooring...
but anw enjoyed it...
a release from skul...

TMR IS THE BIG GROOVE!!!
IM SOO UBER EXCITED!!lalala!!
the whole danz inc gonna be there..
ooh la la...
im loving it....

i have a bad feeling that....

i cant join dance competition....

i have a bad feeling that

im gonna get grounded soon...

i have a bad feeling that

my time management gonna screw up..

i have a bad feeling tt im gonna be burned out..

who cares..its holidays!!and im gonna dance everyday!!wee..

2008-06-03T13:42:00.002+08:00

i want to dance till i drop

i want to go to botanic garden's children section..

i want to go star gazing at science park..

i want to go to the beach

i want to blade

i want to go big splash..

i want to go henderson bridge..

i want to go to mint toys museum..

i want to....

i want alot...

i want an adventure..

i want my simple pleasures..

any takers?

2008-06-03T13:18:00.002+08:00

ooh la laa...
ipassed my napfa..at 1st try...
haha despite a bronze..but its sucha an achievement..
never did i pass my napfa at FIRST TRY!!

thx to lee fung for encouraging and training with me the day before..
and not forgetting the tips she gave
and lil sis for wanting to accompany all the way to YCK stadium..
and a swimming after tt...
and ZUL!!haha for encouraging me to continue at every lap...
and him for spiritually supporting me...

now my shin and thighs are sucha sore...
it hurts..
having sorethroat and dry cough for nearly a week..
and now adding a flu to it is not helping..
when was the last time i felt sick..
damn!

sleeping is no longer a pleasure when u have to wake up in the middle of the
night coughing badly.
knowing to do so i will wake my sis n mum up..
and have to take lozenges to soothe the throat so tt coughing will not persist...

i need to get well...but im not gonna take antibiotics,anti-pyretics and what have you..
i need to survive until july..
after that i can fall sick for all i care..

i suddenly miss tarmizi ystd night..

thx hafiz for still in touch with him...

and i F***ing miss ZUL!!!

seeing him today AGAIN!!!FINALLY!!lalala

hoping i get better..

hoping that im feeling better...

just hoping everything will be fine...

keeping it to myself till all goes well..

2008-06-01T21:25:00.002+08:00

i think im allergic to blogging..
everytime i want to blog i feel like shitting..
yea rite..so this entry gonna be a lil shitty and crappy...

k so a few weeks ago..
i was holding some coins going to shop with my little sis...
and i asked my sis..
me: do you know why 50cent coin is bigger than 1 dollar coin?
sis:no..why?
me:cuz 50 cents want act big...

okay obviously sis ignores me as i laughed at my own joke...

a few weeks ago too...
when life was bad..
i was eating rice with my hands..as a malay...
after eating rice with this spicy gravy...
i washed my hands and watch tv...
my eyes start to itch and i rubbed it...
then a few seconds later my eyes start to sting...
and i began laughing at it..
haha
..
okay im going insane...
i badly need distraction therapy...

tmr's napfa test and i just cant help but think of failing..haha!!

pardon me while i sail through my psychotic-ness...

i never felt this horrible before..

being happy on the outside suddenly feels so fake...

theres too much things thats bothering me and i just wanna let loose...

and i cant help feeling this way..

let me survive this week...

let me get back to myself soon...

can i?

2008-05-26T13:55:00.001+08:00

Every friend of mine left a deep impact on me.
The memories that trail behind us are not just history,
But serves as a purpose that you were once part of my life,
sharing joys and enjoying each other's company.

-guardian angel

2008-05-26T13:13:00.006+08:00

I was stunned,shocked...

a msg received from farid regarding my late friend,toh boon keong..

being a happy girl as i always potray on the outside,

i stunned for awhile..

and then resumed to..hey-you-must-be-kidding attitude..

but i msged mei sum asking for boon's number..

it was on 20th may 2008,just before dance started..

and a junior of mine actually asked me to teack 6-steps jazz walk in the dance studio..

my mind wasnt on teaching but on whether the news was true..i could not really focus..

then sha said"hey rab,ur friend called"

it was zul..i was like wth was he calling me up for..

besides those "prank" calls he used on me with his westernised accent..

this time no western accent..its just him...

he sounded sad..and down and serious..

this time..he told me the whole story..

about toh boon keong..

he read for me the article that was on the net..

i was like err..okay...

i sat at the stairs for awhile..and then went back in studio..

got a reply from mei sum regarding the unfortunate event..

i went in studio..and realised that i cant handle the emotions...

it started to erupt from me..

i told sha in broken words tt im gg out to cool myself..

i broke down at the stairs when reality seems to hit me...

i felt my heart just sank...

msging with meisum..who was gg to the wake that day..

asking if im going too.. i badly wanted to go..but was wearing a red shirt..

i missed him badly...

the next day..i went to the wake with my former classmates

lucy,wenyao,wee meng,susanti and luki...

i was in sucha state of denial..i didnt want to believe that he's gone..

we went to sin ming blk 37..

wen yao went up to the first wake he saw and asked if it was boon's wake...

i was lighted up again when i saw the photoframe wasn't his picture..

there was still a light of hope in me..

the thought of him still alive...and that they got the wrong person..

we continued walking..

and before i knew it..

I saw his picture on the photoframe..

the picture that i saw in his wallet back in secondary 4..

stubbornly,i still did not want to believe it...

we sat down gave the money to the mum...

put out bags and went to see him..

i was dying to see him again..

we went in...and i finally saw him resting there...

this time...i didnt see his smile anymore..

it was just him resting there with eyes closed..

thick make up...

i guessed the accident might be sucha blow that the scars were being covered with make up

my heart just sank there..

i could have cried my heart out but i did not..

i know i have to hang on..get a grip...

that was the last i saw of him...

on the table..he was offered his favourite roller coaster cracker...

before we left...we have the last look of him...

i miss him...

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest+News/Singapore/STIStory_239263.html

2008-05-16T22:08:00.004+08:00

I want you to understand one thing.
I am a cheerleader for the underdogs.

Blacks. Gays. Canadians. The small. The timid. The weak.

I always root for the little guy. Hell, my favourite soccer player is John O’shea, he doesn’t get much action.

The rants I go off on aren’t for the "mats". I hope you know that.

They’re for the mothers who get 3 hours of sleep in order to make breakfast for their kids.

They’re for the gay kids who haven’t told a soul.

They’re for the women who sacrifice social lives so their kids won’t have to repeat that cycle.

They’re for the girls who throw up, not to be skinny, but so they have some sense of control.

They’re for the meek and embarrassed acne scarred faces.

I don’t know what you are. I only know what is right for me.

I have never told, said or promoted anyone to quit their jobs or drop out of school. I make a point to say this now. Please, get an education. The best investment you can make is in yourself.

If what makes you a full and happy person is getting that degree, do it.If being the best mother makes you smile at the end of the day, do it.
If lifting weights and doing pushups makes you have a nice sleep, do it.
If covering metal songs with your band makes you feel like a fucking artist, yo, get it on.

Just do something, because there are plenty of people in this world doing nothing. I don’t give a fuck what your job is. I don’t care what course you take in your freaking polytechnic. I know miserable, hateful, small and insecure "professionals" with expensive educations. And I know some of the most generous, faithful and compassionate people who sit behind desks in offices making calls. See, its not about what you have..It’s about what you're willing to give.

If you are the harvesters, the tourists, the takers, the ones who climb over the weak to "get theirs"..well, then you can get fucked in my book.But if you are the givers, the shoulders, the extended hands..You have my adoration.

Just because you choose a more traditional path doesn’t make you wrong. It just means that more people pat you on the back and tell you you're doing a great job. And that’s fine. Perfect, if that makes you smile at the end of the night. You don’t need me to cheer you on; you have enough people in your section. But see, I rant for the underdogs. The ones who choose a different path. One that is looked down upon, scoffed at and called 'irresponsible'.Because I’m sick of meeting so many faces full of insecurity and regret because no one believes in their dreams and no one ever told them the words of encouragement they so desperately crave.

Sure, you're right, I’ll admit I can’t write my way out of a paper bag. I’m just a spaz and a criminal who never learned how to keep his mouth shut. But see, I don’t mind much..because after the football players, fans and yuppies have their evening, I am still here, sitting in the cheap seats and screaming to the kids who clean the field, "i fucking believe in you."

And I’ll keep putting my sloppy and uneducated words in blogspot and fanzines for all the kids who don’t get the hugs, high fives and pats on the back.

Because there are still kids who believe in me.

keep on li/loving,
zul-

2008-05-12T20:34:00.002+08:00

i hadnt been free enough to blog...
well a quickie on my life...
it hasnt been great ..i admit..

FYPs sucha nuisance...
it could have been a fun thing but had a "anal" lecturer..
who is bent on "do-it-fast-cuz-u-have-no-time" concept...

ive been trying my best to maximise my time usage...
my time is bloody precious...
every possible free time is spent on sleeping...

but however..somethings lacking..the fact that i dun look kinda happy...
ASD was saying i sound sad on the phone...
ugh...i don't like it when ppl say tt of me..tho it may be the truth...
im just tired..
and if i could sleep for one whole day...
i'd be glad....

however despite my busy life....
my friendship and social life has been soaring...
and that a thing i would love to continue...

okay all in all...
i miss my smile...
(haks!!)
my smile is gone...
woots!!

wish i could have continued chatting with u...

time's a constraint...

2008-05-11T19:06:00.003+08:00

a whirlwind of events...

a huge thunderstorm of tears...

an earthquake of anger rattles the ground...

a unity thus formed...

a disrespect..

to one who i once looked up upon..

in one aspect

u failed....

we failed,yes no doubt we failed...

but its this failure that will bring us back up...

your words of anger that meant little...

were just little excerpts we could take as constructive comments...

a reflection...

a point ive taken in...

endless insults?something that i left it there...

a unity we formed..

abond we have created...

we HAVE to bring it SOMEWHERE before we LEAVE...

a dream to achieve....

I still want to maintain peace...

2008-05-08T16:30:00.002+08:00

dance..

a passion where we meet

by passion we let our friendship breed

by choice we make our passion grow...

and let our dreams succeed...

Ive join dance in poly for 2years and going...

and im glad and happy to be accepted in auditions for my club back in yr1..

for i had no dance background to start with..

back in secondary 1 i joined contemporary dance..

but i quited cz it wasnt benefitting at all as they did only ONE choreo for the ENTIRE year...

and ONE performance for that year only...how pathetic...

but after i quited they had a new dance instructor which was awesome...

he did nice pieces of choreo...

and i believe he is related to stagearts somehow..

cuz i saw him at one of our Stagearts production..

but anw i don't count my contemp dance as a background..

k..back to my dance...

we learned hiphop the first year..

and slowly transit into jazz syllabus training..

my year 1 dance experience was great..

the dance assessment was fun..we had to dress up for it..

rmb my team wearing yellow...

and i rmb jing wei saying tt he dun like to dance Don't cha cuz its girly..

it was fun and we had this competitive spirit to win other groups..

training was one hell of a shit...seriously...

the stretchings were crazy...but then it helped to discipline us...

there was this spirit of "one die all die together"

besides tt we had dance performances outdoor and indoors...

as much as our instructors want to put all of us up..

we still had to "fight" for our space to dance..

in a way show tt we are capable of having that spot to perform..

remember feeling jittery at my first dance performance at bishan park..

for ive never dance outdoors before..

we wore red and did locking..

we had other performances too..at thai embassy and all..

my first competition exposure was in SA too..

hiphophunt..

i was selected to be part of it....

i was super jittery abt it...

for i had no background at all compared to the rest around me..

rmb all the late night trainings...

rmb me rushing to Funan IT mall with weilin after attachment at SGH..

i ended attachment at 9pm and went to the dance studio there for a rehearsal with my team mates..

we ended at midnite but the senior team stayed on...

next was danceworks but we didnt really get to go for it...

and we were VERY disappointed(from what i noe from sha and beiyi)...

rmb me and beiyi with our younger sis actually went to watch danceworks that year tgt...

not forgetting being part of NYP musical was a great exposure too..

and that period of time i was having probs at home..

its those bittersweet memories of musical i love..

getting noe one another...

being there for one another...

and not only for SA but other dance groups in NYP...

there was alot of memories when i was a junior...

when my dance instructor was there...

when there was a spirit....

altho we get F-ed alot...but its all for the better of us...

Now...things are different...

i rmb zee asking me when she was putting on foundation for me for clubcrawl performance

"how come u look sad"

and i told her...because the feeling is different from last year's clubcrawl..

its sad...

Its not because of peter leaving us...maybe partly of tt??im not too sure..

but its just tt i don't feel the dancers dying spirit to perform...

no spirit...

there's this mindset like "its just a performance"

its not JUST a performance...

i rmb looking forward to my first clubcrawl performance..

but this time its GONE...

even during trainings..there was no "one die everyone die" concept...(As said by sha)

when zee talked to us on tues..that's what tt went thru my mind and alot more...

i wished i could have spoken up to her on tt day to tell her to stay..

but i guess ALL of us took for granted of her presence...

i felt i had no right to ask her to stay..

would the rest appreciate her too??

I can't guarantee her tt..and tt's y i didnt speak up but teared instead..

and the fact tt she had sacrificed/risked/injure her own rship cuz of us...

im one who dun reveal my real inner feelings..

im emotionally handicapped and tts y..

and if not cuz of alumni like her coming back to help us..

the club wud not have survived...

and zee..like i said i dun say my feelings out....

but just wanna let u know i love ur choreos....

and i felt u and teared when u danced because of u the other day when u showed us solo for clubcrawl's preparation

im touched tt u had sacrificed ALOT for us!!thx alot...

dance is more than passion and i hope the remaining of us will work hard for it...

2008-05-03T18:14:00.003+08:00

Fate writes lifestories

but it is how you choose to run your life

Run the wrong path but its never too late to start over again

Its a matter of how you get back on the right track

i grew up in a neighbourhood of what some may say ghetto-like...

witnessing fights,glue sniffers,drug addicts..

rape and molest were sucha norm...

smoking was a way of life..

gangs were the people who provide support and company

i grew up in a neighbourhood where influences were strong..

im not that girl that now u know, who laughs and have no worries...

the innocent and green....

im the girl who unbelievably submits to those influences..

temptations were strong..

i ran the wrong path..

i plunged right deep in the hole of misery..

trust,freedom,justice..

all were gone...

nobody stood by me...

i had to worked my way back to come out of the hole..

i WORKED MY WAY to get trust back...

i build back my trust...and with that i gain my lil freedom...

my past was horrid..

but i learn my mistakes...

and i wish you learn yours too...

my heart aches to see you jumping into the hole of misery just like how i did..

u broke my heart with lies...

but i hope this incident made u mature...

i wish u read my entry...

for you are the one i cared for and advise so that u'll never be my history..

You can compare the different way ur brought up..

and im envious cuz ur way more fortunate than i am

than WE were/had to live...

ive never let u known my real emotions...

but my tears says it all...

my heart aches to let u go through this..

u have to grow up...

i'll give u the chance u need to grow up...

work ur way to gain back the trust u lost...

my heart shattered to pieces on 2nd may...

at the same time i wish he had known of it..

and made my heart smile at least for awhile...

2008-05-02T13:05:00.002+08:00

alritey im back...
wee...
too muchthings happening ady..
too happening yr 3...
say i score for my social points...get to know more friends..
oh freak!can i scream??
I GOT MR X NUMBER!!!
well dancers should noe who mr X is...
he's so cute la...
i went gaga when he wanted to exchange number..

here's the scenario how we changed no..
so apparently he came on tues...
and talk talk WITH ME!
haha...
after talking outside studio...

me: uh...bye..cya next week..
Mr X: err....okay(still standing there)
me: byee...(Waves and wait for him to go...) ehk y u not goin arh...
Mr X: (Stood there) erm...ehk u want exchange number??
Me:(heart jumps up and down..) yea!
(at this point i was fishing for my handphone only to realise my phone was in the studio and that i was wearing a trackpants instead)
me:ugh..my hp inside ah..come i give u my number...
(took his hp,keyed my number and call)

"ka-chiing" got his number!!
ADDS SOCIAL POINT!!phiwit!

err not forgetting..i actually asked him a personal qn...whether he's straight..haha
okay dang!i ought to be shot...!
and he's asking to meet up....in skul!!!

okay enuff abt guys...
alot of guys story laa
...but i dun wan to squeeze everything here..
glad to have my social wings up again and soaring high...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anw,ystd when to true yoga to try out their dance class..
they had jazz..and i wanted to try it out..
but dang..its damn basic..maybe an intro for those who duno wat jazz is abt...
but for awhile i felt like a pro cuz i could do all the steps...
for those who already noe wat jazz is abt see the choreo and u'll noe its damn easy...

choreo:eight counts jazz pose,4 sets kick ball change,3 sets open fan(okay dunno wat tt step is being called),pencil turn,pose,gallop 3 sets
fan kick,step up step back,chaine,down,pose(look up),side walk 2 times,pencil turn,end with jazz pose...

also did pirouttes turn...
is so basic..more like a warm up or training..
but enjoyed...
then had mat pilates..its good...
but i like yogalates better...did crunches to strengthen the core...
the exercises was also good to open up back muscles and strengthen it..
which i lacked alot!!

THANKS TO ZUL for intro-ing me to true yoga!!
and damn!!his accent like some duno white man with a slang...
phfft!!still can prnak me after that to ask me how's my lesson!!dang!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

went to meet up with the dancers after yoga...
long time never go out with them...
had great fun....
squeezing lil fir's stomach..his stomach damn small laa!!!the size of my palm...
miss danicng with him..
eating at ice monster..giving brainteasers to them..
taking neoprints...
cam-whoring like mad...
it was fun...
and crazy thing was tt they actually msg-ed peter tgt with the same msg to wish him bdae!!
I miss Peter!!aah!wished him bdae at 1am plus...and he actually can reply me calling me rub rub...
phfft!!
before i forget..i still haven return him his things..haha!!

okay till here then...
more stories soon!!goin to emeet mr X!lols!

wee~

i finally talked to him...lalalala!

2008-04-25T23:09:00.002+08:00

heys im back after sucha long hiatus..

now can i see the you all raise up your hands for those who miss me!!

ah ah...saw those hands...lol!!!

ok crap...

im back but i wunt be updating much on my stories!!
tho i have ALOT to blog about...
ALOT of emotional roller coaster rides...
Lets see what i have to talk abt...
my belated IMH posting...
my freshie orientation...
my clubcrawl...
and also dance audition...
not forgetting how the semester starts...

my time is really packed..
despite being released at 12pm on fridays...
and 3pm on wednesdays...
having a max of 5hours of break to minimum of 2hours of break on a normal skul days...
i so dread my long 4hours of i shot break...
tho time spent will be on watching movie at media room or doing projects..

took up yoga at true yoga...
to strengthen my core muscles and train my balance..
which i hope will help in my dance somehow
for i simply s***ed at finding my balance and its so annoying not to be able to do pirouttes without tipping over...
good thing is they offer dance classes there too..
have yet to try out their dance classes..surpirsingly offered jazz class..more of a broadway...

so yea..im trying to freaking try to maximise my time and schedule properly..
AND IM SO WAITING UPCOMING PERFORMANCE AT CHANGI PRISON!!
its sucha eyeopener laa....

clinicals have been fun...
done operating theatre stuffs...
scrubbing and rubbing ur hands for countless of times that i find that we nurses are really OCD...sheesh!
did orthopaedic like putting on plaster of paris/cast on our own hands..so cool!!
and loads loads more!!!

erk..i stop here laa...
i just cant stop talking...sheesh!!!
wait uo for interesting posts...soon i guess..when time allows me to..hehe

2008-04-03T16:29:00.002+08:00

sometimes there are just blunders...

sometimes there are just bloopers...

sometimes nothing really matters..

there's never a win-win situation...
only win-lose situation...
but the only thing that matters is how the winners become losers
and the losers become winners...
when you're up there,there's nothing else you look forward to...
the only thing you can look forward to is the sky

thats why the winners will have to be losers one day...
and that's the hardest thing to achieve..
cuz some have pride and ego..
and the way they lose is to jump down..
when they jump down,they die..
and thats the end for them...

losers have dignity and they strive...
they strive to climb up the ladder...
they have been down before..so its time to get up..
and thats what they are looking for...

2008-03-29T20:48:00.002+08:00

touching people's heart...

i didn't know i have such power to do so...

until..i was told i made an impact in their lives...

its a wonderful feeling...

its a satisfaction....

its a grat achievement...

and i hope this compassion will continue to strive in my future days as a nurse

2008-03-29T14:36:00.003+08:00

conflict between the mind..

friends between us..

secrets lies within...

stories unreveal..

conflict within us..

a matter of time..

cross my path...

i'll try to upkeep..

sincerity?im sincere...

but things don't go my way..

not for now..

pray pray..may 1 more week of attachment goes smoothly...pleeease...

2008-03-24T19:35:00.002+08:00

IMH posting today= my suay plus unprepared day!!!

so to say...i was supposed to meet nura at 6.30am to go IMH today...

since both of us didnt really know how to go there...(i always have transport if i went there)

i was late for 15-20mins!!..sorry nura for having to wait...

the night before was sick..had sudden bouts of migraine...

and still continued to talk to mimi on phone till both of us coincidentally had stomachache at midnight!...

(she just needed to bitch...and i was kind nuff to accompany her..haha!)

i didnt take medication for fear of getting drowsy the next day...

so anyway..woke up at 5.30am but my head simply hurt big time...

so continue sleeping till 6am..

and lil sis actually rush to the toilet first!!

i aint sure why when her school is just a stone's throw away AND she can report at 7.40am!!!

i cant find my WHITE lingerie lar!!!tts why was partly late...

PLUS i hadnt iron my uniform the night before...!

took bus with nura...

and we talk and talk from boys to cars!!

it was hilarious..haha!

we thought we were kinda late but reached just nice before 8am...

going there was okay...

we acually saw one of the outpatient..

and i aint sure why nura keep laughing at her..tt made me somewhat giggle..

anw skip all those boring lectures..and orientation part..

I got to go to the forensic dept where the pts are like jailbirds...and they kept whistling at us...haha!

lee fung was pretty scared and dared not look at em...

some even sang jiwang songS!

anw going to my ward WAS and still IS scary...

i am transferred from 33A to 36A~~

at first i was elated thinking it might be a female ward!!

but sad to say it is STILL A MALE WARd!!!

ugh~~

pretty scary i shall say...

but got bodyguards...fellow male friends will be my bodyguard..

though i hope to feel comfortable very soon!!

im scared...but i'll try to overcome it...

actually i got loads to blog lar...

but im having a bad tummyache...

since attachment...

so im gonna go home and rest!!!!

ugh~

latest hot gossip:mimi farhana has a HAPPENING!!!

me and poh's job this wednesday is to witness the HAPPENING!!!

it all started at sakura!!haha

2008-03-23T17:06:00.002+08:00

the one and only thing that will kill me is boredom!

when boredom hits me,this vicious cycle will go round and round like a merry go round..

boredom-> cranky-> shut myself up-> ignore people->binge->sleep....

i never had to feel so bored back in secondary school

yes i miss my secondary school life especially during my first 2 years

those pranks we got up our sleeves serves as great memories..

birthday bash meant by throwing ppl into the dirty school pond

spraying ppl withthe water hose from the water hydrant..

writing prank love mails..haha i did that for _____ who happens to be the class geek..

etc etc..it was hardcore fun!

and its even more thrilling cuz i was a councillor back then...haha..

i remember how i dread going to skul in poly..

i hated the tutorial group tt totalley means we don't really get to socialise..

and when i stepped in to be with my newfound classmates besides rab..it was err okay...

lets just say it wasnt as what i wanted it to be..

but now its better...

In 3 weeks time imma goin to year 3...

i've no idea what my future holds..

but i know decisions have to be made along the way..

choosing hospitals to work in?the wards or specialise area to be in?

continue studies?take a different course?

FYP is coming soon..

hectic schedules as expected..

and at this period of time...

im not sure if this IS the path that i really wanna continue..

i know i have passion for nursing...

i love giving injections and doing dressings or even make a cup of milo for the patient..

there is satisfaction..but is this satisfaction going to bring me somewhere??

is this what i really want to pursue??

i wish i didnt have to grow up...

because for now i want to have FUN!

i want to go out there and enjoy...

and i know events are coming up that will steer me away from boredom!

im waiting for it...wee!!

tmr's attachment at IMH...

let me see the light to fun and restraint boredom!!

my entry seems to be runnig away from my original idea!!lol!!

Flight of ideas!

2008-03-22T19:03:00.002+08:00

YAY!!!!

freshie's orientation is coming up!!!

lalala!!

its time to socialise!!!

gonna be facilitator for nr0822!!(buy 4D..confirm strike one!haha)

with two juniors which i dun even noe...

jane and june...funny to have jane and june..i mean by their names...

haha...

yay!!!

IM SO LOOKING FORWARD FOR FRESHIES!!!

*evil laughter*

i'll make them do stupid stuffs like what my previous freshies had to do!!

lol!!!

2008-03-22T18:07:00.003+08:00

blogger's note to self:freaky shit...i've defeated myself just by pouring my hearts content publicly again!!phfft!

a dream...

a sweet dream...

the power of a dream...

evokes back the feeling i once had for you...

its a brand new feeling of you...

its weird..

but its special...

expecting no reciprocal...

no need for the mutuality...

let it be

im a dreamer i admit...

i wanted to dismiss this dream as hey-its-just-a-dream...

but using my psychology knowledge...

dreams are what u have in ur subconscious mind...

so that means...

in my subconscious mind i AM thinking abt you..

thou consciously i aint thinking abt you..

when i woke up from this dream was

like the day tt i text u in the dawn when i had a nightmare abt you b4 u left..

where i felt like hugging you cuz im afraid to lose you..

but this dream..it was sweet...

and i woke up in the dawn too...

i felt like hugging you too and with words i'd whisper "where you've been all this while"...

and then i realise how much i missed you..

and with that i decided to text you...

texting u seem to be a heavy thing for me to do..

cuz i no longer noe when's the right time to txt u..

whether i still have the right to txt u such things..

but i went ahead with it..cuz my heart told me to do so...

i didnt noe how to put my words..

and with that i had alot of drafts..

before sending u the final short one...

followed by my heart screaming""ARRGH..i just want to tell you that i miss you FULLSTOP!""

uh uh uh uh!!*smacks head with pillow!!*

its crazy..

and i miss u..really...

and im not askin for anything..

if only u noe it..

emotionally handicapped..

im a strong girl but love made me helpless!!

2008-03-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

2 more days of holidays...

been dancing away..

had a game of badminton with lee fung and zhu yu

and looks like im good at badminton...HAHAHA!

tmr's out with my fatt ila and siqin!!!imma so happy!!!

okay wateva..

im soooo not looking fwd to IMH posting...

im being plain lazy!!and yea i still got a MALE WARD..im freaked out laaar!!HOW??

phfft...i think its gonna be crazy there...im soo gonna tease themm hehe!!

im anticipating loads of free time there since the patients go to bed freaking early!!

AND IM GONNA MAKE THE EFFORT TO GO BACK TO SKUL TO DANCE AFTA ATTACHMENT!!

AND THATS A DEAL!!

2008-03-17T17:10:00.002+08:00

the sun is out finally..

but suddenly im drained out!!

i think i had two weeks of intensive hols

that my remaining 1 week..im beginning to shag out..Woops!!

im pretty tired...

phfft!

2008-03-14T17:48:00.002+08:00

im truly living up to my zodiac sign

just like a snake,my skin is peeling off..
and im glad it is peeling cuz im pretty annoyed with my two different skin colours!
hahs..it started to peel after dance ystd..
it appeared like blisters filled with my perspirant i guess..
so i randomly touch my back and felt this blisters feel alike...
and i popped it..i looked at it at the mirror and i was very excited to see it peeling off...
so imma actually trying to peel the whole thing off...
i know it sounds kinda disgusting..but having two different skin colour is more disgusting!

today went to town for awhile cuz mum had things to settle..
and i thought we could have a shop at town..
IT WAS DAMN PACKED WITH PPL LAR!!HOW I DON'T LIKE CROWDS!
BUT anw my thoughts of walking around town was diminshed when my lil sis started feeling dizzy..
it was weird cuz my lil sis is stronger in health compared to me..
she started feeling dizzy when me and mum was buying ice-cream at the roadside stalls..
and then it struck me tt she was hypo..(mum didnt even think abt tt she was hypo)
haha it was obvious cuz her face look so lemau!haha..just like how i would look like when i turn hypo..
i offered her my ice-cream and she got better after awhile..

thinking abt being hypo(short for hypoglycaemia) its been long since i became hypo..
i rmb tt the times when i first became hypo was at wd 72 while watching bone marrow aspiration being done..
cuz there was alot of students and the fan was off..standing too long,i felt hypo and wanted to faint..
i was then offered a cuppa milo and biscuit by my lecturer,may chia!!haha
nowadays im responsible for being hypo lar..
i always carry sweets during my attachment..
and if i don't,poh will always have sweet..haha!!
oh ya nt forgetting may may for making me a cuppa milo too at wd 63c when i turned hypo..haha!!

k back to my town experience!
i saw the F1 cars today at town!!!
the porsche were awesome!!theres ferrari too if im not wrong!!
argh!!lovely cars!!
i wish i had a porsche,ferrari OR LAMBORGHINI!!if i had porsche or ferrari,it have to be a red one..
but if a lamborghini it will be a lime green one and i hafta emigrate!!(NOT...i love spore!)

but anyways,we ended going to serangoon for a meal at the old komalavilas ..
been long since i was there..
and now the service there is BAD!!usually they will serve us..
now we have to make the orders before even sitting!!how horrible!
like cant we even get our butts down first and thing what we wanna eat before ordering!!
and they have a rule there..NO SHARING OF RICE MEALS!!haha like wadtha??
u pay but u cant share??i think they are infringing on personal life!

cant stand it..!

suddenly i know of things i didnt used to know..
it was weird..
i thought things were as great as it first seem.
not when i saw what went beneath those perfect pictures
do true happiness,perfect family,bestest friends really exists?
a passion we all lived for..
a path we chose...
a destiny to meet..
it all ends up to be torn and tattered..
its not worth to end things the way it is now!
im gonna change it and turn it around
i hope the ties do bond and not strain..
i miss you all like how you all used to be before..
we'll get back tgt again shall we??

results!

2008-03-13T12:47:00.002+08:00

YIPEE!!!
RESULTS IS OUT!!!i got my results send via sms and got it at 4am!!!
AS EXPECTED I PASS!!!
MY GPA HAS INCREASE!!!tho not to my expectation but still is a great increase
IM DAMN HAPPY!!
MY GRADES IS BEYOND BELIEVE!
LALALALALA!!HOLS HERE I AM TO CONTINUE YOU!!!
*sings to smurfy song* lalalalalalalala!

2008-03-12T14:09:00.002+08:00

my butt totalley hurts big time(not to mention my thighs too!)..like totalley!hahaks!

and it still haven heal dammit!

so rite now imma having problems seating,squating and standing up again..

im walking at a snail speed...

and squeezing my ass to soothe the pain!

argh!!irritating...!

anyways...i have like 1 week plus more holidays..im enjoying to the max tho..

however...!

it come to a halt at this point in time...

im starting to wobble wobble over results!

and its out on the 13th...

whats the date today again??oh whatever!stupid results...

i hope i do above average so i can enjoy my other half of hols without thinking that i have a supp paper to do!

seriously im confident to pass all my papers just that this time...a PASS wudnt go for me..

im expecting more i hope!

sheesh..holy shit...i wish results are out like today!

okay those random stuffs!

STEP UP 2 WILL BE OUT SOON!!(on th 13th TOO!)

but i prolly watch it next week cuz tis week packed with activities again...haha!

and i hate the fact that my skin now has 2 DIFFERENT DISTINCT COLOURS ON MY BACK!!

bronze or red alike and yellow...eew!!!!

im freaking pissed with it...ugh!

and it looks like im wearing a yellow(skin colur) tank top if im naked!!

its rainy season!and i feel like doin sth simple like playing in the rain AGAIN!

and eating roti prata at the coffeeshop...

investing in a raincoat to play in the puddle...

ahh..feeling2!!haha

okay happy hols AGaiN PPL!!

2008-03-10T16:14:00.005+08:00

A SNEAK ON MY HOLS!

nice hols ive been thru after so long...

just yesterday went out with the dancers to jitterbugs studio..

AMIN DIDNT GO!!!PHFFT!!

had 5-6hours of dancing to hiphop,dual power,street jazz,girls styling and learn a new dance-belly dancing..

hahs belly dancing wasnt as easy as i thought!pfft!and it got my butt cramped till now!

and im squeezing my butt every now and then!

i love the choreography by awi and sam for dual power!!(awi's hot and damn tall!sha thought so too..!)

dancing to hate that i love you..!nice partner work dance..

and the hiphop choreo by jay..(i told sha his name was jack!) was awesome too..love it!

well had a wonderful day ystd..though today im suffering with cramps over my shoulders and thighs and butt..

must been the wild wild wet plus dancing..

after that had a mini picnic with sha at marina square open space..been long since i talk alot to her..

after dance went to national library..coincidentally sha also had books to return..

ystd was damn tiring!!after i reached home,i bunked in till today morning..and my walking is cacat now!thx to the cramps..

i met him(mr hot bod!)..hahs!picture cant be revealed..and i damn kuku can..i edited the pic and didnt save it as another picture..so i dun have the original picture!!!damn!!but i got another pic with him!!lalala...
details of tt day cant be revealed too....

the wild wild wet!!the peeps went to wild wet after their escape!!
lol!we had ALOT OF FUN!!
i invented a game..to play catching while seating on the float..u cant get out of the float but use ur hands or legs to get to another person!
and because of tt my arms feel damn shiok...so weak and lemau..haha

my junior gals that was there too!!hehe

this was only 3 days of my holidays..

and again this entry is written so that i could upload the pics for sarah!!haha!

2008-03-08T22:18:00.003+08:00

7 hours of ~~swimming~~ playing with water at wild wild wet got me burnt..
i aint gonna say much yet..
but loves the company of bestie,rizal,ahmad,rizal,sarah and diy and her sis!!
WE SHOULD AND BADLY HAVE TO GO OUT AGAIN!!haha!!
i miss you all..

okay i cant update much on my hols yet..cuz theres too much to say...
and im typing this entry to tell sarah that pics wunt be uploaded any soon..hehe..
i will tag u when i've uploaded...!!LOVES KUCINGMU!!haha!

1week of hols will soon come to an end..i have 2 MORE WEEKS!!!hehe!

1/03-OUT

2/03-OUT(a day to remember..haha!*winkz*)

3/03-OUT

4/03-OUT

5/03-HOME(stupid rain..phfft!)

6/03-OUT

7/03-OUT

8/03-OUT(another day stored in my memory)

9/03-CONFIRM OUT AGAIN...

at this rate..im sure to be grounded soon..

and i still owe ppl dates..to name a few

Ms HO S.Y - a date plus treat from her to catch up..haha!

YAP-a secret and surprise outing for him with the girls..psst!(it would be great if HE could join us..)

rab and the boyfy-an eating out plus LOADS OF CATCHING UP!!!

SARAH and the juniors!-A MUST MUST MUST HAVE CATCH UP OKAY!!!

oh holla!!i'll be back soon!!

When there's so much thing to say..i dont know how to start..and i will end up just keeping quiet..

I'm a lazy girl and when i talk,i slur...

So im just keeping quiet...

and when im quiet don't ask me why..

cuz theres too many things that happen and i dun know how to start talking on it..

naahs..dun force me to talk or else..i'll act dumb in front of you..

peace!

that lifeguard was cute.....hee

holidays

2008-03-05T13:14:00.003+08:00

Qn:how boring can a boring day be??
ANS:very boring!

Ugh~and thats how i feel today...

for once i was happy to wake up and see the sun..

and the next thing i was irritated cuz after i bathe,it started to rain..

Poof!there goes my plan today!

i guess Ms Rain misses Mr Sun and both of them wants to go out together!

Okay..that means no jogging today..

perhaps later..

and i badly need to buy a earpiece..

i cant jog without a companion..

my companion=upbeat music

my companion used to be my lil sis..

bt lil sis schooling and having her training today!

phfft!

2008-03-02T21:32:00.004+08:00

~~sex~~ abortion is taboo.

taboo is ~~sex~~ abortion.

Call me traditional but i will never accept abortion.

Talk to me openly abt bisexuals,PDAs,gays or lesbians and i wouldnt mind...

okay i think i am confused whether i cant accept pre-marital sex or abortion

Gynae posting really tested me to be non-judgemental..
yaya nurses have to be NON-judgemental as part of professionalism..
but hey what can i say when GIRLS as young as 15yrs came to the ward for abortion..
like hello i am older than you and YOU got more experience than me??
drop my water face for being a girl..(kay guys cant get pregnant so yada yada)

Now...i wonder why people do and people throw..
okay put my professionalism in use here...
why people have sexual intercourse just to abort the baby..?
I cant stand it!an innocent life gone just like that *snaps*

okay so being sooo bloody curious...
i actually interviewed or as what i said earlier had therapeutic convos with them..
and y'know those who came in at age of less than 16yrs are to be in the sexual assault category..
so i was wondering how this girls had managed to glide their way through statements and statements...
it happens tt she and her ~~boyfriend~~ jerk team up to bluff the policemen..
okay credits for tt..

the boyfriend did visit her during her hospitalisation...ONCE!
only to sweet talk her..and the fact tt she have gotten himself another girlfriend kills me...
i f***ing wanna kill the stupid jerk..
for heaven's sake...her virginity lost to the first guy ever!
no doubt the boyfriend kinda good-looking...
bt wtf when he's a jerk!
ugh~

Okay so i beacame friends with her..
(but didnt remain in contact afta hospitalisation as we didnt exchange contacts)
and then heard her views on abortion..
and i began to think twice..no..many many times
her ~~boyfriend~~ jerk wanted her to abort for the sake of the future..
which i guess is true if you think abt it
Her father wants her to abort it cuz of her future studies...
her mum wants her to make her own decision..
what her father said was kinda true...
since she made a sin...complete the sin and start a new life..
but then again we are talking abt a life here!!hello??

what pisses me off is when this supposedly mummy do not want to view their foetus..
i mean like for the last time...
and hey i was evil..
i coo-ed like how the baby cries at night to scare this supposedly mothers....
but in the end i got freaked out myself!haha!

oh ya...and did i say how some supposedly mothers had their experience of aborting??
she actually wanted to go to the toilet..
and these patients dun wear undies..just maternity pads..
some dun even wear..
and suddenly the foetus just drop off from y'know where...
so freaky lar...and she can just scoop the foetus in a plastic bag and gave it to my friend
like it was just some kinda tissue tt u drop and want to throw in the dustbin..
freak!!if she gave it to me...i dunno how i will react...

oh wells so after this attachment im kinda open when u talk to me abt sex...

ya da ya da..

bt please have safe sex..use condoms,spermicides or wat have you..

FOR UR FUTURE AND FOR NOT KILLING INNOCENT LIVES...

abortion

2008-02-29T16:11:00.005+08:00

i am FINALLY BACK FROM ATTACHMENT at KKH!!lalala!!

*jumps up and down*

but wait...

NO there wasnt any babies to cuddle...

yes there was abortion...

yes theres pregnant woman..

but still the patients are nice...lalala....

im so loving it...

And i so realise my weakness...

i get attached to ppl(my patients) so easily tt leaving them is the last thing i wanna do..

(that goes with friends)..

and thats why going home today is abit delayed.

but nonetheless...

i was bored..

and i engaged in therapeutic conversation(B.I.T.C.H) with them..

nyahah!!that was wat i did..when i had hours to spare and nothing to do...

I didn't really read casenotes..

there was a day when me and nickie had therapeutic conversation with a patient for an hour or so..

lol!

it was kinda interesting to know how ppl cope with their illness and whatever they came for...

in this case i mean abortion...

INTERESTING THINGS I SAW!!!

abortion-i saw the process of it!!

freaky!!but i was rather nonchalant cuz at tt point i was doing sponging..

but anw,

The box that is used to contain the dead foetus looks like an apple struddel/Log cake box!!

and then the mother of the dead foetus can view their dead foetus

IF THEY WANT TO(most of them don't) in a box that comes with a satin cloth..

and that box looks like those used in the malay wedding gift exchange(the "hantaran")

the dead foetus is kept in the treatment rm in the apple struddel look alike box

until the mortician comes and claim it...

ooh..i had sucha wild imagination!!

I aint sure how i gonna do nite shift in general hospital!!

Those who went for abortion were as young as 15??arnd there..

okays...

i think i end here.,..

my next entry will be about abortion...!!
Check it out...!

My hols are here!!ASK ME OUT!!haha!

okays..

im goin back to ma crib to sleep and dream....

oh check out pesta pesta tonight...

im so gonna see mr white on tv...

lalala...

My nick was sooo wrong..

NSboy thot i went for abortion cuz of my msn nick..

I am happy to be swinging single!

2008-02-24T17:46:00.004+08:00

mum's the BEST!!
she's gotten me a pretty personalised cashcard for me..
when i verbalise tt i needed cashcard to print stuffs in school
its pretty cuz got my picture on it...hehe
tho the display name kinda get me irritated bt i love it...
(she had my nick on it..hmph!)

okays few days have passed..
im excited for hols!!somehow..
im on cloud 9(prolly due to hormones)
i wanna start my discovery again...
i wanna flap my social wings!!
im feeling....feeling feeling..
i wanna go out...i wanna....
i wanna wanna wanna!!haha

TMR's GYNAE POSTING AT KKH!!
IM SOOOO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO TAKING CARE OF PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!!!!
ugh~
tho i will TRY to enjoy the posting as much as i enjoyedthe other posting i went so far..
BUT one thing i noe for sure tt makes me look forward for posting is...
i'll get to hold the newborns..AGAIN!!
those cutie pies will make my day...if the mum allows me to..
i wanna bottlefeed the babies!!the cute miniatures..
all right
PLUS POINT TMR: PPGs WILL BE WORKING TGT!!!phiwit!!
AND i still have yet to get a nurse's watch and scisoors!!boohoo!

alritey.. till here then!

There's a lil part of me tt is expecting an impossilbilty..

i hope the paths do cross...

i wanna flap open my wings and be the butterfly tt soar

to the discovery tt we left..

i AM expecting..the impossibilty..

the impossibilty that makes my heart race...

taken 'it' away with him..

im so in love with an impossibilty..nyahaha!!

The feeling tt i expect the impossibilty

knowing tt theres a minimal chance of it being possible

it gives me a rush..

thinking tt it will happen makes me excited

there's hope..and let the hope live..

my dreams are my fantasy...

it keeps me going for as long as i want it to be..

I AM a strong girl..

only love makes me weak...

And im weaken...

For the impossibilty has

I am Naughthy,i admit..

my cat

2008-02-24T17:14:00.006+08:00

Presenting my baby girl!!nyahaha!!

aint she cute..aww..
i sacrifice my comforter for her to sleep on..

and i teach her to smile for the camera..hehe
she gets extra points for being social..lalala

i teach her how to read...nyahaha!!

and there she is independent reading my bio notes..

a reason to tell my mama if i ever fail my bio(choy!)..hehe..

(pictures taken are natural and candid..my cat wasn't force to pose..)